Another one of my ambiguous rhyming prose thingys! You know how artists try to perceive life as someone else? Well this is me trying to do that. No need to panic, or call a psychiatrist.
But for God's sake don't tell my mother. She's a fiscal and social conservative.
"Boredom"
Got some ropes,
Got some ropes,
Empty ropes.
Empty mind.
With nothing to hide.
Bored outta my mind,
Playin...
I feel narcissistic today. That's why this song isn't about me. It's about me not apologising, because I'm so awesome. Bow down to my awesome song/poem/ambiguous rhyming prose.
"No, I'm Not Sorry"
I think that you are sad,
I know you make me bad,
But you don't tell (can't, won't) the truth,
Ain't a man, but all I'd say
Is damn..
I'd love to take back my words,
Was an accident that ne...
John Smith was your average person. He had a job, a life, friends. Just like you and me.
Except one thing. He had all the world's information in a sophisticated device - which was only the size of a credit card.
His device was shiny, black, and it was his. Whenever the device allowed him to - which was most of the time - he could access trillions of pieces of data with a few taps and clicks...
Another song, Mr/Ms reader. How about a rant? Everyone does a rant-y song.
"@TheMedia"
FUCK!
Nothing makes sense,
Ain't gonna think about it,
All these events,
Are reported so wierdly,
it just confuses me,
Builds things up,
Break them down,
Fooling the uneducated,
Twisting those who aren't,
The news is what you make it,
You make it wrong,
Blood-thirsty,
Libelous,
Mosquitoes...
LOS ANGELES - At the International People of the Year Awards 2011, you won the Loser of the Year Award.
Ben Stiller presented you with the award stating: "This person has been such a loser that the fact the person even got here without getting injured is a miracle."
You gracefully stumbled down the aisle to the stage, where you mumbled a few words of thanks.
"I didn't really feel surprise...
Another song. Yeah. On a roll ain't I?
"I'm Not Going to Come Up With a Song Title That Fits, Partly Because There Is No Line from the Chorus Full of Wit, That I Think Is That Good At Summing Up The Ideas Present In this Work, and I Feels That You Should Take That"
I'm defining boundaries,
I'm shaping the future,
I'm going to do shit,
I'm brilliant at this malarkey,
In fact, I'm so post-...
Another song, I hear you yell? So soon? Why yes dear reader!
According to my friend they're just poems. I disagree. They're just words written in verse and rhyme. Hopefully, some guy from a major label will see this and employ me, so until them these are poems. Or songs without music. They're something.
This song is about heartbreak. To be fair, I haven't actually experienced it, but I've wa...
I like songs. I like writing songs even more. Okay, this is a poem-y thing, but it's... look, just read. I'm sure you can make up a tune in your head.
"Mirror, Mirror"
I'm a wreck,
And insecurity,
Hell, I've a vanity lift!
Say that I'm amazing,
Am I really worth for mating?
'Cause I can always stare into the...
Mirror (mirror)!
How amazing cool is my image?
I'm not an iconoclast,...
Donald Trump, businessman, has released this document in respect to the fact that he could be the Republican's Presidential Candidate. According to Trump this will show that 'he has a clear plan.'
ECONOMY, FINANCE & STATE/POLITICS
- Rob oil from everywhere
- Rob slaves from China
- Shrink government to size of Secret Santa board
- Create new jobs in gold-digging
- Cut benefits
- Cut...
NOTE: This leaflet is part of the new government program to stop tax evaders being idiots.
SO - YOU'VE DECIDED TO STOP PAYING THE UNITED STATES* GOVERNMENT TAXES?
This leaflet will show you the routes you - and we - can take to make sure that your wish of continuing your asshole behaivor comes true!
- Move to Somalia.
As you probably are a gun-toting, immigrant hater, you'll be able to...
Yet again, I shall display my skills at poem writing, and how effeminate it appears to be to my father and my extremely protective mother who suffocates me with love. So yeah, I have no family problems whatsoever.
This goes out to the overworked heroes of the daily grind. The others guys. The pencil-pushers in the backrooms making the front-line guys look good. To the teachers, public sector w...
Dear diary,
My teen angst bullshit now has a body count. I've wrote a song about killing people. I've been in the news about killing people.
I think it's seven... going on eight. There are people, lying in a pool of their own blood.
Eyes gouged out... some of them... by the works of my thumbs.
Others, have a bullet through the throat. One jock I killed by shooting his shoulder and the...
BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - The Moral Guardians attacked films today after Inhopeless went on a killing spree.
Many spoofers have had suspicions about this all along.
"Hmm..." said Lady Godiva, a spoofer, "He did write a song about killing people and going on dates. Very dark stuff there. I thought it was nothing... but now..."
Other spoofers are as shocked.
"I was trawling through the forums,"...
Yes! It's another song! Poem... whatever. Actually, it's techincally a poem, because there's no music. Well, it's an acappella song, really. Oh, yeah.... if you do work for a record label, I could be their songwriter. You know... Pull a few strings for your man Inhopeless, eh?
"I'd Love to Go on A Date With You, But I Need to Go on a Killing Spree and Return Some DVDs (My Angst Has a Bodycount...
I like writing songs. So what? Sue me Universal Music.
"Snooooozzzze"
I wish you had a volume button,
I'd like to turn you down,
Before you turn me off,
You snooze, you lose,
You snore, I lose,
Out
On my sleeeeep
Shut up!
Shut up shut up!
Your nose is a lawnmower's motor,
Shut up!
Shutupshutup!
Please stop snoring,
It's really annoying.
What the hell is up with you?
I'm fi...
Some people like stuff. Some people need to stop dancing. Others want a song about teaching. I'm writing this because I can.
This goes out to all the depressed, sad, and overworked teachers out there. Educating the youth. Go teachers!
"The Teaching Song (About Teaching)"
I'm not in it for the money,
Or the holidays,
I still do it, but if only,
The strikes would let up,
And the guys...
LONDRES - According to informed sources to your subconscious, Alan Roberts colleagues hate you deeply.
Hatred, directly to your unfathomable reason, Roberts is the seething spirit got the best promotion ahead of him.
It is close to you, your scalp and your imagination back to the report, Roberts may consider a variety of ways to kill you can feel his anger burns.
In his experience, Robert...
I shall again explore my songwriting skills. No, it doesn't make me gay. Do not believe my dad.
"DUDE, YOU NEED TO STOP DANCING"
Dude!
It doesn't make sense.
I don't wanna think about it,
You're great when you eat, fuck and sleep,
But, I'm serious,
because,
Dude!
You need to stop dancing,
It's really embarrassing,
You make the robot look like swan lake,
How much more can the audi...
I was once in a band. . I was supposed to be the bassist and main lyricist, but we never actually took off. Well, we actually just disbanded because we couldn't be bothered to do anything.
However, here I shall dab my hand again at songwriting. Who knows, maybe some major label will.... nah,
"I Know This Song Should Really Have a Title, But There Isn't a Line In the Chorus That Sums It Up Ne...
Jake was your average adolescent. He lived in a terraced house on the corner of Harney Boulevard and Mon Street. Jake woke up from bed a few minutes ago, and was stretching. He yawned. Then he stopped.
"Who said that?" he asked to an empty room. "The room's not empty; I'm talking to you." He probably was rehearsing for a play. "What play?! I'm talking to you! Oi!" He appeared to be going insane...
To cut a long story short - On the Wright Stuff (I was bored, Okay?) people were arguing that videogames were the cause of all violence.
"85% of all games contain an element of violence."
Isn't eating marshmallows and digesting ghosts a little violent?
If so, shouldn't crime be through the roof?
"It doesn't matter what these psychologists say, these videogames have caused drive-by shoo...
Living in Britain as an ethnic minority (guess which one), it's kinda... well you know how. Luckily, for most of my life, I have not been on the receiving end of some treatment, but nonetheless, it is shocking to see something like this happen. Hell, it happened right on my lawn.
This is a conversation between a Liberal Democrat candidate, me, and my mother.
A backnote: He was canvassing fo...