In a rare show of bipartisan unity, leaders of the Democratic and Republican parties agreed to make the following pledge to the American people:
"We pledge not to ask Americans for shared sacrifice in order to eliminate the deficit. Republicans will keep repeating no new taxes, Democrats will refuse to budge on entitlement spending, and neither party will propose cuts in defense. Both parties...
The Obama administration recently commissioned a top-secret think tank to compare the cost of the War on Terror to the United States on the one hand, and to al Qaida on the other.
The results were reported as follows:
United States:
* More than 5000 soldiers killed.
* More than one trillion dollars spent.
* Untold damage to the image of the United States around the world.
Al Qaida...
Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi are secretly collaborating on a new book:
Scratching The Chalkboard - How to Be Annoying and Get What You Want.
Privately, Sarah confided in us: "I have always kind of admired Nancy as a sort of Momma Grizzly on the left and when she stands there with that makeup and those wierd eyes and says deficit reduction is 'unacceptable', you just want to grab her by the...
Vicky Hartzler, the newly-elected representative from Missouri, has a problem. With Tea Party backing, she ran on a campaign of cutting government spending. According to the Environmental Working Group, she and her husband have received more than $770,000 in farm subsidies over the past 15 years.
In the year 2012 she will have to vote on the Farm Bill.
I caught up with her recently.
Ken:...
Recently, a reporter for the Financial Times of London received a lot of criticism for suggesting that some sort of world government is needed to really solve the problem of global climate change.
This reporter was commissioned to conduct a survey of public opinion on the topic of world government. The first person interviewed was John Q. Public, from the United States.
Ken: John, how do y...
The following top-secret message, which was sent by Osama bin Laden to his followers, has been intercepted:
It has come to our attention that Iran is sending cash to the government of Hamid Karzai in Afghanistan. We have decided to do the same because the Karzai government fits in perfectly with our plans.
The goal of al Qaida is to enlist all Muslims in a worldwide jihad against the Unite...
Ken: Mr. Mayor, I understand you have quite a project going on here.
Barkat: That's right. We are creating a bible-themed garden, which will be a tourist park, adjacent to the City of David. This is the most important area in the world, and in the valley right there below us is where King's Garden actually was.
Ken: What about the 22 Arab homes that are sitting there now?
Barkat: Th...
An important part of the American strategy in Afghanistan is to train the Afghan army. The Spoof had an opportunity to interview one of the trainees, using a translator.
Ken: So, Batoor, how is the training going?
Batoor: Not too bad. The coffee's good and they pay well. Three meals a day, can't complain.
Ken: How about the training itself?
Batoor: Well, those guys in the spac...
A rally was held yesterday in Washington, D.C. to celebrate the grand opening of the Red, White And Blue School Of Self Defense. Sarah Palin was on hand to introduce the speaker, John 'Bambi-killer' Doe. Here is the full text of Mr. Doe's speech:
Thanks for that wonderful introduction, Sarah.
Listen. We all know that any and all gun-control laws are an unwarranted infringement on the rig...
Welcome And Greeting
Welcome to the Anger Universalist Church of America,
where our mission is to practice compassion-
bashing and to serve our own agenda.
Today's Theme
The theme of today's service is "Preserving Our Freedoms".
Our minister is special guest Father Ken. Assisting him will be Deacon Stephen, a real beacon in the community. Please feel free to meet and greet him.
Op...
Here at The Spoof, we want your experience to be a satisfying one. Before reporting a problem to us, please review the following Frequently Asked Questions.
Your website appears to be down. What should I do?
Please do not call the Hotline. We are experiencing unusually heavy call volume, as always. Wait until the site comes back up, then log on and use the Simple Problem Reporting process t...
Years ago, I attended a "Positive Energy" rally. Boy, was I pumped up! I couldn't wait to tell my wife about it. "Wow, honey, that was incredible!" They explained how Positive Energy is really just Positive Thinking with a new age spin! That made so much sense to me. Then Norman Vincent Peale and Paul Harvey arrived and…"
"I thought Norman Vincent Peale was, you know, dead?", she said, i...
I found Mr. Doe protesting at the border in Arizona, and interviewed him.
Ken: Good evening, Mr. Doe. Your sign says a lot. "Three Simple Words: We The People". Gotta keep it simple for those illegals, I guess. Think they can count to three? So what's your message here?
Doe: The message is that illegals are not 'people' in the constitutional sense of the word. "We The People" - that's us. "...
John Butugley is the latest winner on American Idol. Afflicted with a rare skin disease which causes warts all over his face, John has been shunned all his life. He was once referred to as 'The ugliest man on earth'. However, he has a fantastic singing voice.
Ken: "So, John, if I may ask, what was it like growing being so, er, unattractive.
John: Please, after you. Didn't I see you in a fu...