For anyone who has been homeless for more than a day, mayonnaise is a real Godsend. It can be acquired at almost all fast food restaurants for free and it provides just enough calories to sustain one's energy level for a few more miserable hours, or until they can scrounge up something else to eat from a dumpster.
Mayonnaise as we all know is most commonly used as a sandwich spread but duri...
The following testimony is one man's incredible story of how he was cured of chronic back pain by an animal. As the facts unfold, they will appear to be fictional in nature, however, the author has signed a written affidavit and has also agreed to submit to a lie detector test upon request.
My name is Ben Malo and I am an ancient history enthusiast. In my spare time, I read anything that I can...
When the physical human body completes its cellular evolution and reaches the end of its life cycle, the biophysical and chemical elements that our body's are composed of are organically broken down in mass and density to their most minute molecular levels and used as a source of energy for other living organisms which exist within a microscopic realm.
These living organisms which exist within...
My name is Trent Dementia and by pure chance I discovered that Red Fire Ants have intelligence. This may sound incredible but it's true and after you've read my story, you'll believe it too.
Every morning around sunrise, I travel by foot to a salvage yard in north Las Vegas , Nevada . The journey only takes me an hour or so but along the way I explore the surrounding desert and all the magnific...
The Price Of Blasphemy - I didn't return to the battle grounds where the backsliders had revolted against my divine authority for about six months. I wasn't going to return there at all but I had a change of heart. I don't know if it was my compassion or my love for the little ones that drove my thoughts and made me return but one day I did stop by to see if the Red Fire Ants had repented of their...
My name is Tex Colten and I've been using smokeless (snuff, dip) tobacco for over ten years now and it's often occurred to me that the majority of the tobacco is being wasted. You take a pitch of the tobacco with your fingers and then place it between your cheek and gum, and then suck on it until all the favor is gone, then spit out the tobacco. What a waste, especially, since snuff tobacco is pri...
An Unwelcome Premonition - I was sitting in the grass along Ravens St. in the old town where I lived when my attention was captivated by the roaring sound of a powerful engine with a huge propeller whipping at the air over-head.
I jumped to my feet and looked up and saw what looked like a military cargo plane heading in my direction. It was about six-hundred feet off the ground and flying way...
I was going through my medicine cabinet looking for my Lithium so that I would have it with me when I evacuated and fled from the incoming category 5 hurricane when I heard the news man on the radio say, "We have just gotten word in that a nuclear warhead launched from the Soviet Union has detonated somewhere within the proximity of Washington, DC. No word as of yet what the damage report is or wh...
The United States of America will soon go through a complete restructuring process and an economic metamorphosis that has been in the planning stage since the Great Depression (1928-39). As early as 1920, the United States, Department Of The Treasury realized that our democratic, capitalist form of government was headed on a collision course with a "Financial Tsunami."
They knew that it was o...
Introduction - That Can't Be In The Bible began in Big Woods, Louisiana, the center of the Bible Belt, where I lived with my elderly father and stepmother.
My stepmother's first two husbands had been Southern Baptist preachers before they died. They were college trained clergymen who left an awesome library in her house of biblical literature and homiletic books (sermon guidelines).
To pas...
Today was a beautiful sunny day and I was talking to one of my economic refugee friend about the sky being so clear. It then dawned on both of us that there weren't any high flying planes letting out chem trails to cloud the sky over.
"Well that just proves that the shit those planes spray out is not meant to block out any harmful rays from the sun and obviously they're not spaying any chemical...
Today is May 26, 2010, and I am starting to become stressed out from the recent current events. My happy-go-lucky disposition is slowly but surely transforming into a demeanor of antisocial resentment and distrust for those around me.
I have spent the past month absorbed in the study of current events that relate to the world around me and now, they're taking a tole on my sanity, they're star...
I live in Los Angeles County, USA., and I would like to tell you about what it's like to be a white guy here.
*Every time something is broadcast on the news about immigration that stimulates anger amongst the Hispanic population - I get dirty looks and unwelcome vibs.
*Every time something is broadcast on the news about slavery in American history, or racial prejudice that stimulates anger...
We have all been fooled by Satan, the wolf in sheep's clothing. While we were waiting for the Antichrist to arrive and bring the 'mark of the beast' to brand us with, Satan has been destroying GOD's creation all along.
He's been using mankind as a puppet, he's been pulling our strings all the while by making us chase after the pleasurable things in life. He's made us worship the almighty do...
Hobo Guacamole - Want to party like the "Rich N Famous" but you're homeless? Well, now you can invite all your friends over for chips and dip with this delicious recipe for Hobo Guacamole.
Ingredients:
1 can of peas
5 packets of mayonnaise
2 packets each of salt & pepper
Mixing directions: smash the peas thoroughly and mix with mayo, add salt & pepper to taste (smashed peas l...
The other day, I had the pleasure of experiencing a fantastic new type of television, called "Smell A Vision." The device filled the room with a brilliantly correlated and in sync variety of aromas that related to whatever was being shown on the screen.
When the picture on the screen showed an actor barbecuing in his backyard, the entire room that I was sitting in filled with the smell of barbe...
It's quite possible that Satan knows what's written in the Book Of Revelation by Saint John The Divine. If he does, wouldn't the master of disguises, the grand jester, the trickster of salvation - change the game plan just before the final game (Armageddon), in order to make sure that he has the court advantage?
The Book Of Revelation was written around the year 90 AD., that was one thousand,...
There's that old homeless man
What's he doing around here
He drinks far too much at night
Then sleeps it off under the pier
He's life's been shattered
He has nothing of his own
He's a lonely, homeless old man
Doesn't even own a comb
His wife died of cancer
And his son was killed in the war
He's full of heartache and sorrow now
And doesn't want to live anymore
He's been begging f...
Affidavit Of Rodney Lee Mitchell Jr. (ID. Badge #7757)
AKA.: Ron Leddy (funNgames)
My Nightmare Job At Goodwill Industries
Part 1.
I worked for Goodwill Industries from March 22, 2010 to April 24, 2010 and I would like to tell you a bit about my experience there. First off, I would like to say that it was one of the most chaotic and stressful jobs that I personally have ever had and I...
Profound Answers To Today's Current Events
I've spent the past two weeks listening extensively to the most popular radio talk show hosts in America, and I've heard them stutter, repeat themselves and even talk over their callers and co-hosts in a futile attempt to make us the general public believe that they alone, are the "wise old owls" of our specie.
They go to great lengths to bait us...
A freelance engineer by the name of Tommy Lardas has revolutionized the physical fitness industry with his Cycle Ab Builder. This incredible new device combines the mobility of a bicycle with the power crunching physical exercise of sit-ups.
Tommy Lardas had this to say about his revolutionary, mobile piece of gym equipment.
"I have always enjoyed riding my bicycle, not only is it non-poll...
The Reverend Daryl Deacon, who has been researching the crisis of dwindling church attendance, and the continuous evolution of man's perception of God for more than two score and ten years has written a shocking new book entitled, Born Into Sin & Hell Too. This informative literal masterpiece traces the complete history of theology all the way back to the primordial swamps of Africa, to the pr...