Hypocritical pope basher and militant gay rights leader, Peter Tatchell, has sensationally come out claiming that - based on his say-so - paedophilia is now acceptable, normal and okay.
Obviously, since Tatchell is a militant homosexual who spends his life ramming it down peoples throats (often literally); he is lionised by the likes of Channel 4, BBC, Labour and numerous other lefties. If you'...
You can often tell a lot about a club by their shirt sponsor.
Everton have Chang Beer (so one could infer that you'd have to be a pissed up Chinese factory worker to support them) and before that they had One 2 One (or as we across the park liked to suggest; Gone 2 One).
Manchester City are sponsored by Etihad since that's the airline their new found friends in the Middle East have to use...
Gone are the days I'm afraid when - for want of a better word - the 'poor' could be described as Working Class Heroes. Thanks to the celebrity obsessed "me-generation" -gone too are traditional values and a sense of community.
It's not just the little things like the classless slags who think it's okay to wear pyjamas to go to the shops or the scumbag hoodies who'd stab you for your loose chang...
In a special broadcast tonight, we have invited Jonathan Evans, Director General of MI5, to respond to increasing pressure from senior doctors, lawyers, pathologists and indeed the general public for a new inquest and a full enquiry to be opened on the 'suicide' of Dr David Kelly along with full disclosure of Dr Kelly's autopsy report (which has never been made public and is not legally allowed to...
Good evening. In tonight's Newsnight Special, we've invited Christopher Nolan to the studio to discuss his latest $160 million effort, Inception. Released to critical acclaim in July, Inception recouped almost half of the production cost on its opening weekend and Nolan is already tipped to win Best Director and Best Film at the next Oscars. Fans and critics alike are lauding Nolan as the new S...
Good evening. In the first of our interviews with leading British celebrities, tonight we're talking here in our London studios to Katie Price. Now, Katie Price, why would anybody want to watch you on television or read about you in the newspapers?
Jeremy Paxman: Hang on, do you mind, you're in the wrong studio…
Katie Price: Wot u talkin bout?
Jeremy Paxman: I'm supposed to be interviewin...
Following popular demand from fellow writers on The Spoof; myself and the Newsnight crew grabbed the opportunity to interview Gary Neville in his bedroom at his mum's house.
The interview was recorded earlier as Gary's mum makes him go to bed at 8pm right after his tea and our Newsnight show does not broadcast until 10.30pm.
The written transcript of the show is as follows:
Jeremy Paxman:...
At last nights T in the Park concert, Scotland's top music festival, headline act Eminem aka Marshall Mathers refused to walk 40 foot to the stage for fear of getting his trainers dirty. Eminem's prima donna behaviour resulted in festival organisers having to hire a bus to transport the diminutive rapper 40 foot to the stage and supply him with plastic bags to cover his feet.
How very gangsta...
I Gordon Brown, former unelected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, would like to issue a statement on behalf of the Labour Party and formally apologise for almost a decade and a half of Labour rule which I now formally acknowledge has destroyed this once great country.
In doing so, I would like to publically acknowledge just some of the overwhelming mistakes, miscalculations and insidious p...
Male Seeking Female
Aged over 40? Well educated? Like wine, the arts, long walks in the countryside?
Yes? Well fuck off then, I'm looking for an 18 year old vacuous size six stunner with massive tits, no brain and absolutely no opinion on anything. Must be able to iron, cook and give a decent blowjob.
Female Seeking Male
Bitter, unsuccessful, middle aged, spastic wallowing in my own...
For those readers who chose to actually read The Sun newspaper today (instead of using it for its correct purpose - emergency toilet paper); you will have been presented with the argument for David Beckham to take over the reigns of the England job from Fabio Capello.
The Suns argument - which ignores the obvious basics like Beckham having no coaching badges, no managerial experience whatsoever...