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Showing articles written by Lance Hendrickson.


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Funny story:  Orwell's Crystal Ball

Orwell's Crystal Ball

Back in the sticks, we kids all had heroes. Mean Joe Greene turned us on to Coke, f'rinstance. Bruce Jenner had us heaving birch-branch javelins until we realized that Wheaties kinda sucked. Little Davey up the block had it bad for Hondo, the leader-guy on S.W.A.T. And in my tree-fort, God's name (and the password) was Robert Craig Knievel. (Hey, c'mon. This was before I found out about...
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Funny story:  Obama's just joshing about immigration reform

Obama's just joshing about immigration reform

So there I was in post-industrial Michigan, with my buddy Tim and his newly-conned-out-of-Jersey fiancée in the back of my Chevy. (Well, "my Chevy" is debatable. I paid for it, I vacuumed the fries out of it, and I clocked over 250,000 miles on it. But on paper, only the two-exes-ago and the bank could claim it, and she bolted with both "my Chevy" and "my furniture." You decide.) Anywa...
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Funny story:  Just Left #6 - Paddling McChrystal

Just Left #6 - Paddling McChrystal

When I was 17, I got a job in a restaurant, swabbing out urinals (the perfect task for a 17-year-old) and cooking steaks (though that's not something any 17-year-old should be doing). And I'll never forget the first time I ever talked back to the boss. It must've been 130 degrees in the kitchen. I was lugging a case of lettuce out of the cooler in that workweek's hour #62, and my glasses fog...
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Funny story:  Just Left #5 - Slow Joe Barton

Just Left #5 - Slow Joe Barton

Most of the time, the really obvious and quasi-tragic items we keep on our "don't-bring-this-up-at-Christmas-dinner" lists are discussed only with our live-ins, while we're shaving and getting a little tuned-up on wine before said Christmas dinners. Like Aunt Meg's thick, dark whiskers, f'rinstance. Most of the time, nobody crosses that line. But eventually, though, these things do come...
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The proposed new immigration bill is more than a thousand pages long. Foes plan to write a 2,000 page alternative. If anyone ever tries to write one on a filibuster, it should be finished by 2099.

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