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Funny story:  Romney and Netanyahu's Head-Rush to War

Romney and Netanyahu's Head-Rush to War

Sneedsville, Ohio-In a shocking secret revealed today on the upper fold of the The Hayseed Herald, Ohio's most popular small-town newspaper, there is little doubt Mitt Romney and Benjamin Netanyahu plan on bombing Ohio before the presidential election to bring the state, and the US, in line with their wildest Zionist dreams and desires. Once again, Tawdry Soup got the scoop, and although this i...
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Funny story:  Obama: I Ain't a White Devil-It's a Skin Disease!

Obama: I Ain't a White Devil-It's a Skin Disease!

Becoming much more than the political chameleon that changes from liberal activist to fascist mother-fucker in the blink of an eye, President Obama appears to have gone under the knife to bring himself permanently closer to the corporate crooks that now control the United States Government. In a revealing interview on the Oprah Show, Obama reacted with surprise that anyone should question his o...
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Funny story:  NRA Proposes Plugging Japan Atom Hole with Jim Brady

NRA Proposes Plugging Japan Atom Hole with Jim Brady

A Spokesman for the National Rifle Association has proposed a novel solution for solving Japan's ongoing nuclear crisis. He has suggested that anti-handgun spokesman, Jim Brady, be dropped from a helicopter into the disabled nuclear reactor number 1 at the Fukushima atomic plant. According to NRA spokesman, Leroy Hickleby, the resulting expansion of the bullshit Brady's been hauling around for...
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Funny story:  The Legend of Tappy Toe

The Legend of Tappy Toe

When I was a kid I had a sister born with the toenail on the right big toe growing on the bottom of her toe instead of the top. Once she got to walkin', I remember hearing her toe as it tapped along the magnoleum floor in the kitchen. That's how she got the name, Tappy Toe. When things was bad, you could hear that toe: tap.....tap.....tap.....tappppp. But when things was good, like momma was b...
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Funny story:  Archie Bunker Gets a Computer

Archie Bunker Gets a Computer

Archie: Eeeeeedaaath, how ya toin dis damn tang on? Edith: Ohhh, Aruchie...you have to plug it in first. Look down here, see this plug? Archie: Dangit Edith, quit messing around down der by my feets. Yer givin' me the damn creeps, der. Edith: Oh, Aruchie, this will only take a second. There-now try turning it on. Press that blue button. Archie: Yeahs, I can see dat its on, but now what...
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Funny story:  Limbaugh Proves Arizona Shooter is Psychic

Limbaugh Proves Arizona Shooter is Psychic

Much to the delight of his listening audience, crow connoisseur, Rush Limbaugh, has claimed that Arizona shooter, Jared Lee Loughner, is not insane, but psychic. "It's true," the egg-splattered Limbaugh proclaimed Wednesday, while doing a mind-bending radio segment about repealing the Job-killing Obamacare Plan for Dirty Illegal Mexicans and Other Parasites. The victimized Limbaugh accused...
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Funny story:  Finally: A Midwestern Patriot Militia That Isn't Crazy

Finally: A Midwestern Patriot Militia That Isn't Crazy

A right-wing patriot group, unfazed by left or right-wing political rhetoric and 100% sane, was found by Tawdry Soup busily training for Armageddon just beyond the Wabash County line. The rag-tag militia consisted of two guys walking down a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. They were wearing Sputnik era fatigues and weighed down with so much crap they looked like a walking army surplus store.
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Funny story:  Texas Town Succumbs to Old-Fashioned Steapl Chase

Texas Town Succumbs to Old-Fashioned Steapl Chase

Raisin, TX-The South Texas town of Raisin has found itself in a predictable predicament culminating from the holier-than-thou atmosphere that often pervades small towns across the United States. When you approach Raisin, a town of 2500 that sits in a dale along a two-lane highway, a gigantic weathered sign depicts an intimate close-up of a strikingly Aryan Jesus on what is arguably one of his...
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Funny story:  Trail of Blood Libel leads to Palin Mental Collapse

Trail of Blood Libel leads to Palin Mental Collapse

Sarah Palin appeared on her Facebook page again today denouncing her critics and accusing them of using "blood libel" to criticize her inflammatory statements that have contributed to the nation's breakdown in civil discourse. "Her critics smell blood, literally..but unfortunately, so do her supporters," says psychologist Dr. Morton Salier of Newborn Medical Center in Dallas. "She would be bet...
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Funny story:  Palin's Comeback Trail Begins in Nashville Titty Flop

Palin's Comeback Trail Begins in Nashville Titty Flop

Nashville, TN - After spending years exercising her First Amendment rights to encourage the murder of someone who wasn't a "real American," Sarah Palin's media career has taken a turn for the worse after several real Americans were murdered by an anti-government kook. The unflappable Palin, feverishly working on her big comeback, is working in a Nashville titty flop, the next stop after her re...
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Funny story:  Preacher Terry Jones Set to Replace Geraldo as "World's biggest dork"

Preacher Terry Jones Set to Replace Geraldo as "World's biggest dork"

Not since Geraldo Rivera stood outside Al Capone's vault, has there been a TV moment with a bigger chance of bombing than Terry Jones' Quran burning this Saturday night September 11, 2010. Terry Jones, the firebrand preacher of a Pentecostal Offshoot Church is Gainesville, Florida is determined to burn the Muslim holy book on Saturday September 11 at his Dove World Outreach Center to commemora...
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Funny story:  Everyone in Office takes Vacation Day on Gay Guy's Birthday

Everyone in Office takes Vacation Day on Gay Guy's Birthday

When Morey Leonard arrived at work today, riding high because for once during the year everyone in the office will be nice to him, he found nearly everyone had taken the day off. This seemed strange because just a few weeks ago, Leonard wanted a day off to drive his partner to the airport for an extended trip to see his sick father. His request was denied because, "the office can't function wit...
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Funny story:  BP Hires Karl Rove as PR Point Man After Disastrous Oil Spill

BP Hires Karl Rove as PR Point Man After Disastrous Oil Spill

Loplip, LA: News has reached Tawdry Soup that Karl Rove, the parallel universe dwelling Bush minion, has accepted a position as the public relations point man for BP, the company that everyone on the planet has fingered as the culprit in the gigantic environmental disaster taking place in the Gulf of Mexico. On Saturday afternoon, just in time for the Sunday newspapers and talk shows, Rove mad...
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Funny story:  Sarah Palin has a Pillow Talk with a Founding Father

Sarah Palin has a Pillow Talk with a Founding Father

Wilmington, De. 1782 - On a recent time travel expedition to the late 1700's, Sarah Palin found herself in bed with Jacob Broom, another B-level politician some consider a Founding Father and a man "who knows one when he sees one." According to the report from an ear-witness known only as "Mary," a conversation overheard coming from behind a certain ramshackle wall went something like this: "H...
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Funny story:  Customer Service Calumniator Castrates Cocky Customer

Customer Service Calumniator Castrates Cocky Customer

Easy going Dirt Farmer, Joe Smith, recently ran into a testicular tilt-a-whirl when he crossed paths with customer service Rep. Shania Twillis after calling his local rural electric co-op about a late fee and disconnection notice: Time 11:57 A:M Ring Ring…"Co-op…." "Ahh yes, hello young lady, this is Joe Smith out at the Green Briar Farm, and I'm thinking there might be a mistake on...
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