In the dawn of time, all humans were naked, so there was no such thing as cross dressing, but current research shows that cross dressing is a psychological condition, so although there was no cross dressing, there were cross dressers. These people must have been very confused, and didn't know how to solve it.
Then, about ten thousand years before some hippy was killed for pointing out the flaw...
This Saturday, it's everyone's favourite annual pan-European musical competition - the Eurovision song contest. For a few hours, bleary-eyed Britons will throw away their deeply ingrained xenophobia and enthusiastically embrace their fellow Europeans as their own.
Even Eurosceptic UKIP leader Nigel Farage is said to host an annual Eurovision party. He recently admitted that he has fished out hi...
The press is much occupied these days with the foibles of the rich and famous. To judge by the content of the press and the blogs, and the tidal wave of so-called reality TV, we, the anonymous public, take great delight in being reminded that power and privilege do not make a man wise or save him from ridicule. Remember all the fun we had watching a political bully and egocentric hit man named Wie...
Last Friday May 10, 2013 Farrah Abraham was stoned by ultra Orthodox Jews, Haredim, for praying while wearing a tallis, prayer shawl at the Western Wall in Jerusalem. The Israeli police then arrested her for praying for the father of her child, who died young like James Dean in a tragic car accident. This has sparked an Amanda Knox like international incident. World War I was caused by 1 gun shot,...
I am writing this out of concern for the quality of hippies we have here in America at the moment. The other day I overheard a small group of alternative types in a natural food store discussing how they were going to fly around the U.S. this summer.
Since when, I do ask, do hippies FLY other than when they have scored some particularly good dope? REAL hippies hitchhike or ride bikes or drive...
The following are letters that were sent to Bacardi Cheyenne, editor with the Los Angeles-based iRumors News Agency.
Not one word has been changed, omitted, deleted, amended, altered, or otherwise modified.
Dear iRumors - Can you tell me what makes American Idol judge Nicki Minaj think that looking like a Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey clown is clever, cute, or attractive? I mean real...
What's a humorist to do? After posting the blog under its heading, "DATELINE: HUMOR," we had the normal expectation that readers will see the attached piece as the drivel of a dribbling writer.
Alas, like the proverbial "Beware of the Dog," signage, the readers scoff and ignore it.
We must confess that in our youth, the term 'humorist' was a dead tipoff that the individual was not funny. As...
There comes a time in everyone's life when we must deal with that horrible reality of urban survival- having a roommate. Whether it be for economic, sexual, companionship or practical reasons, one often finds oneself having to share that space under ones roof with another human being, quite often one that you are not totally in tune with. Dealing with this individual or individuals with which one...
In an interview on Fox News to be aired later this week Bill O'Reilly states, for a fact, that he is on God's speed dial. An advance copy of the interview has been leaked to the general media.
"Yes, I am on God's speed dial," states O'Reilly in the opening segment, "and have been for some time. We are kind of on a first name basis, so to speak." The interviewer seeming incredulous asks O'Reill...
History is written by the victors."- Winston Churchill. "History is a set of lies agreed upon."- Napoleon Bonaparte.
In the history of Arabian Peninsula, 450-621 A. D., we find three brothers in Mecca called: Hashim, Motalib and Abdoshams. Hashim and Abdoshams were conjoined twins! Ironically, there was a feud between these two brothers which has continued to present time. It began with Hashim'...
During the course of one of our legendary chats at my local gentleman's club, my chum Lord Percy made me a bet that I could not refuse. Namely, that I could live off £1 a day for a week.
"Nonsense," I replied. "Why, one could buy 50 pints of milk at that price!"
I admit that I had not researched the subject thoroughly and my milk comment was slightly off. Usually my butler and partner Jeeve...
QM-NewsCorpse reporters have been given unprecedented access to the Bureau's legendary decoding unit that uses numerological, linguistic and symbological tricks to piece together terror suspects' agendas.
Here is a brief glance at its anagram division's profile of key players involved in the Boston Marathon bombings:
Chief suspects:
Tamerlan Tsarnaev anagrams to Relevant Satan Arm - a r...
Dear RIP Hugo Chaviz
I do miss you a lot! Good old days! You, in your jumpsuit, standing on the platform, vigorously shouting, threatening, cursing.
Mr. Presidente, 'si no te importa' I've got some questions for you. Remember your 'discurso', speech, at World Water, 2011? You said, "I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe c...
Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the Boston Marathon bomber killed by Boston police, was freshly arrived in the Heaven promised for Jihadist fighters. A guide was there to help him get established.
"Hello, Mr. Tsarnaev. I am here to help you find your place in heaven."
Tamerlan was still a little woozy from leaving his body so quickly after being shot and then run over by his own brother in the shoot out...
This weekend, as I was watching television, my wife misheard a statement I made. She was in the kitchen and I said, "Hey, Doris Day is playing the piano". Doris was young and pretty (although surprisingly, a little gay looking) in one of those hopelessly unbelievable 50's musicals where everyone plays the piano like George Gershwin (but you can't see their fingers). Two stars for this particula...
Just in the past few months North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has become one of the most famous individuals in the entire world.
The little man who many say resembles the Pillsbury Doughboy, the Michelin Man, and a male version of Nicki Minaj, has become more famous than the Kardashian sisters, Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney.
Kim Jong Un has even made friends with one of his all-time favorite NBA b...
Sir,
in view of the fact that Margaret Thatcher is to get a memorial inspired by the American memorial to Ronald Reagan, should she not be called the "Gridiron Lady"?
Arthur Braincell BSc (failed)
Lunt
Sir,
Her Highness Lady Baroness Thatcher was the ultimate role model for all civilised white women. She truly showed that with the application of hard work, brains, sado-masochism, vo...
Well. Here we are. Here we, ooh, no. Ooh. Ah. Ooh, I don't know where to put meself. Don't know which way to turn tonight. Yes, Missus, you've been there, haven't you? Hmm? You've felt my predicament. Look, now don't start. Shut your mouth. Oh, the riff raff we get in here.
But ooh. Ah. No. Don't. Hasn't it been a hard winter? It's been a hard winter. And it's not over yet, I can tell you. Ooh,...
It was an incredibly audacious act of snobbery that the truly classic Three Stooges movie got totally panned for any Oscar whatsoever at the most recent Academy Awards Ceremony.
To begin with, the Producer should have gotten an award for even thinking of the idea in the first place. True genius- remaking the Three Stooges, the cultural inspiration and societal high point of many male adolescen...
The world of literature has been stunned by allegations that massive numbers of words have simply gone missing from the English language.
'In the 1960s we believe there to have been at least one million English words,' said a spokesman for the Queen's English Society. 'Dictionaries that are currently available, however, list just a few hundred. It would appear that words may have been systemati...
Dear Sir Lancelot,
when the red red robin did you last buy a decent living kettle of fish? I think they have forgotten how to make a popocatepetl proper cat and fiddle kettle these days of wine and roses grow on you. I blame the Chinese whispers, everything seems to be made in China now then now then.
I bought it skipper a kettle drum down in the drink Batley High Street fighting man last we...
Life is nothing but a big soap opera, with an intricate plot and endless conflicts, played by animals on a stage called earth.
Many wise men have tried to discover the theme of this drama in vain. When animal actors, excluding man, are watched, their existence seems a bit logical and straightforward, but this does not apply to its main cast of Homo sapiens. This farce play is a concoction of...