Oops! Did I really just infer that Limbaugh's wife is a slut? I'm really sorry if I did. I'm sure she probably isn't. Please forgive me. I must have been talking out my ass.
Drat! I've just been warned by The Spoof's word counting algorithm that I can't publish this totally fictitious crank of Limbaugh latest sewer soliloquy yet. It seems that I ran afoul of the minimum word requirement, which...
Recently on Pat Robertson's 700 Club television show Robertson showed a video of his host Kristi Watts asking former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice what her favorite Thanksgiving food is. Rice told Watts that it is a helping of macaroni and cheese. After viewing the video, Pat Robertson and Watts, who is black, had the following exchange.
Robertson: "Is that a black thing?"
Watts: "It is...
A new study published this month in the New England Journal of New England Medical Journals suggest that people who are predominately left brained are almost always first class ass holes. And to make matters worst the study shows they don't know they're ass holes either.
So how can you, a person of impeccable standards, determine if you're left brained and consequently an ass hole? The first q...
Solving the federal governments' budget dilemma has elicited innumerable ideas from economist and politicians over the years.
These ideas, mostly election year platitudes designed solely to garner votes, lack any genuine chance of becoming reality in a harshly divided Congress. Democrats drone on about increasing taxes on the rich and corporations, while Republicans haughtily decree that endin...
Kanha National Park, India - Superpol, the international politician with the mysterious shape shifting abilities and a superhuman ego too boot (but sadly saddled with the intelligence of an wicker basket) nonetheless stopped a crazed and rampaging rogue bull elephant deep in the heart of India today.
The rogue bull seemed bent on destroying a hospital that is home to dozens of blind orphan chi...
Berlin, Germany - Archeologist searching for evidence of ancient Roman brothels in the German village of Schlipinvagina have instead uncovered a tantalizing mystery. While excavating where a broken down brick out house once stood they discovered a rusted tin box which contained prints of naked Victorian woman and a diary that had belonged to Karl Marx, the father of communism.
Professor Wilhel...
It had been a tough day. I was on my way home from work when I decided to stop by the local supermarket and pick up something for dinner. I finally settled on a rotisserie chicken for $4.99, paid for it and got the hell out of there.
I was hungry and tired and not in any mood for any bullshit either. So, imagine my disgust when I opened the rotisserie box at home to find a chicken with only on...
Washington,DC - Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge Police department and Professor Henry "Skip" Gates of Harvard sat down with President Obama today in the Oval Office.
The following is a transcript of their conversations as released by the White House press office.
Obama: Welcome Skip - Welcome Sgt. Crowley.
Sgt. Crowley: Thank you Mr. President.
Prof. Gates: Thank you Mr. President...
I hate the game of soccer. I especially hate the stupid morons who play it!
Whenever I drive by a soccer field with little children or 'adults' playing that sick little game I lean out the window of my car and holler out something like, " look at you little fairies prancing around in your stupid fucking fairy uniforms, you sick little assholes," followed by leaning on the horn until the game st...
As darkness fell in dreariest England, people began heading home from their work for their dinners, some on buses and some on trains. But in one railway station in the centre of the city of London, a strange sight could be seen, for sitting all alone on a suitcase was a small royal bear, with a sign saying 'Please look after this royal. Thank you.'
But all the people were so busy heading home t...
Ottawa - Canada has long lagged behind the US and Asia in development of innovative modes of transportation. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper now believes that the latest technological developments engineer by Canadian scientist will leap frog the old internal combustion engine and bring Canada much deserved fame and fortune.
Developed in conjunction with the Royal and Ancient Association...
America fought a war to secure their freedom from England
Canada prefers to remain as serfs to England and the 'royal family'
America fought a Civil War to end the business practice of slavery introduced by England
Canada prefers to remain as serfs to England and 'royal family'
American citizens speak hundred of languages from around the world
Canada's citizens, unable to understand eac...
Mountain View, CA - Pamela Townsend and the other scientist assembled in the SETI central computer room couldn't believe what they were seeing. After hours of waiting the message that finally appeared on the monitor said simply:
"The horse jumped over the fucking fence" and left.
"What the hell does that mean?" she said. As the director of the Allen Telescope Array for the SETI Institute thi...
Few people realize the difficulty that radio personalities have each day coming up with fresh new ideas to speak about. Hour after hour, day after day their livelihood depends upon keeping their audience tuned in. Even the big honchos like Rush Limbaugh stumble about now and then. One day his buddy Sean Hannity told Rush his on air secret, "If you hit yourself in the head with a small ball peen ha...