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Showing articles written by Monkey Woods.


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Funny story:  Ten Things You Didn't Know About The QE2

Ten Things You Didn't Know About The QE2

The RMS Queen Elizabeth 2, or QE2, has completed Her final voyage from Southampton to Dubai to become a floating hotel, but, in many ways, She is shrouded in mystery, a veritable undercover camel traipsing through the silent deserts of 'secrecy' on an errand to who-knows-where. To commemorate Her final journey, and to celebrate what is arguably the most distinguished and well-loved battleship i...
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Funny story:  Back Garden Swimming Pools: How To Make One

Back Garden Swimming Pools: How To Make One

The popular 'How To Make One' series continues now, with a look at something 9 out of every 10 Americans have, and 97 out of every 100 Australians have - a swimming pool in the back garden! Most people in Britain will be unfamiliar with the concept of having a pool in their garden; almost all will, however, have visited their local swimming baths for a swim, and to enjoy the experience of havin...
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Funny story:  A Millwall Brick: How To Make One

A Millwall Brick: How To Make One

When I talk to people about football, and the 'old days', the conversation invariably comes around to violence, or perceived violence, because, a lot of the time, it just never happened. Lots of running around, posturing, arm-waving and shouting, yes, but very little action on most occasions. When it did though, it could get quite hairy. If you were lucky, you were with someone else when it wen...
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Funny story:  Have YOU Ever Thought About Cutting Someone's Head Off?

Have YOU Ever Thought About Cutting Someone's Head Off?

Well, have you? Never? Oh, come on! There must have been a time when someone pushed you to the limits, wound you up [strong][i]so much[/i][/strong] that you felt like you just couldn't take any more of it - what about then? Couldn't you have taken [strong]an axe[/strong] to their head or, better still, sliced it off with [strong]a diver's scabbard[/strong]? Yes, that's it! You're remembering no...
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Funny story:  Football Results To Be Read By A Woman

Football Results To Be Read By A Woman

BBC Sport, in a move calculated to revolutionise viewers' perception of women in sport, have agreed to a trial run of women reading the football results on Final Score on Saturdays. In a link-up with television and the BBC website, here are today's results read by chatty Chat Show host Gaby Logan:...
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Funny story:  Steve McClaren - The Post-sacking Interview

Steve McClaren - The Post-sacking Interview

Sacked England manager Steve McClaren has given his first interview after losing his job after only fifteen months in charge of the national team. Spoof reporter Harry Enscombe, respectful of the ex-Hull player's state of mind so soon after finding himself in the dole queue, put the questions to McClaren earlier today:...
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Funny story:  An Open Apology To Sir Elton John

An Open Apology To Sir Elton John

Yesterday, a story was published in The Spoof which misrepresented the views of Sir Elton John, with regard to his opinions on homosexuality. Monkey Woods would like to assure readers that Sir Elton does not hold those opinions, would like to apologise for misquoting him, and for any trauma suffered by him, caused by the publication of the story. That being said, here are some excerpts of an...
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