Superman! - That Ultimate Hero of the Great American Dream (or Scream?)
One again screens across America will be displaying that ultimate hero of true American ethics, moral values, virility and down home decency- Superman.
Reborn again on the 75 anniversary of his birth in D.C. Comics, the Superhero to end all superheroes is coming once again to save the world and to show it that America i...
According to Genesis God made man out of the dust of the earth and woman out of Adam's rib - not an especially impressive start. But in the thousands of years since then things have changed and so have we humans. In Adam's and Eve's time they only needed to wear fig leaves to survive the environment until you -know -who came along. Nowadays one almost needs a suit of armor.
What would it be li...
For years we have heard the mantra that 'If you can read this, thank a teacher" thrown at us from bumper stickers and signs everywhere. Of course the school system will surely not broadcast so loudly their failings- the brainwash, the intimidation, the browbeating, the systematization of everything possible. If they ever did, here is what these bumper stickers would look like:
If you are so rob...
The top commanders of the Taliban have just introduced their own version of the famous Ten Commandments as received by Moses in the desert.
It is not well known that the Islamic Religion also uses the Bible as a prophetic religious work. That means that they believe in the Ten Commandments as received by Moses from Jehovah. Unfortunately, as can be expected, the Taliban branch of radical Islam...
BEAR #1-
Returning from an over night kayaking trip out in the islands near where I was working I had a short margin of time to get through a narrow pass between an island and the mainland before it got too shallow to paddle through even in a kayak. Glacier Bay was famous for having 20 to 25 foot tidal changes at times. I missed my margin by at least a half hour. I now had a ten hour wait be...
I am writing this out of concern for the quality of hippies we have here in America at the moment. The other day I overheard a small group of alternative types in a natural food store discussing how they were going to fly around the U.S. this summer.
Since when, I do ask, do hippies FLY other than when they have scored some particularly good dope? REAL hippies hitchhike or ride bikes or drive...
There comes a time in everyone's life when we must deal with that horrible reality of urban survival- having a roommate. Whether it be for economic, sexual, companionship or practical reasons, one often finds oneself having to share that space under ones roof with another human being, quite often one that you are not totally in tune with. Dealing with this individual or individuals with which one...
Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the Boston Marathon bomber killed by Boston police, was freshly arrived in the Heaven promised for Jihadist fighters. A guide was there to help him get established.
"Hello, Mr. Tsarnaev. I am here to help you find your place in heaven."
Tamerlan was still a little woozy from leaving his body so quickly after being shot and then run over by his own brother in the shoot out...
It was an incredibly audacious act of snobbery that the truly classic Three Stooges movie got totally panned for any Oscar whatsoever at the most recent Academy Awards Ceremony.
To begin with, the Producer should have gotten an award for even thinking of the idea in the first place. True genius- remaking the Three Stooges, the cultural inspiration and societal high point of many male adolescen...
True historical information- A historical research group in Wales has unearthed evidence that one William Shakespeare, father of famous theatrical plays known throughout the world, was also a business cheat. Records have been found that show the author being dragged before a court for hoarding grain during a time of famine. Even more ironically, it occurred at the same time as the presentation of...
This is the second in a series of two wonderful articles about horrible, vicious, dangerous, hideous, disgusting Australian animals that for some reason contain no mention of Rupert Murdoch. (Note to reader, this article does not contain information about horrible, vicious Australians, although many consider them to be in the category of animals as well. I will cover them in a third article later)...
Today we interview that star of toy stores and famed actor from the films Toy Story 1,2 and 3, Mr. Potato Head! Visiting him in his penthouse at the Farmer's Market in Manhattan he spills the beans on his illustrious life:
A hearty greetings to you, Mr. Potato Head! Thank you for doing this interview with us. Where is it you are from?
Illinois, but my roots are in Idaho.
I have heard that y...
Anyone who has spent any time in Colorado or any western ski resort areas has noticed the high density of Wisconsiners living there (to avoid any violent misunderstandings and to remain socially correct, by 'high density' I am referring to the percentage of population, not the thickness of their skulls). There is a disproportionally large population of them coming from a state with only five milli...
It is time to take the opportunity to take you folks in England (and you in Scotland and Ireland too for that matter) to task on this thing you call 'European Football' God only knows somebody needs to, so I'll take this heavy responsibility on my shoulders.
The main gripe I have is this silliness that you dare to call football (you undoubtedly stole this name from our proud game). What a load...
What would have happened if Simon Cowell, the inspiration and chief executioner for the wildly popular X Factor show had been around to judge the big stars of American music before they became legends. Just how many of them would have survived the gauntlet of his withering criticism? I think many would have curled up under his sarcasm like slugs deluged by salt and withered away.
Let's take a...
I recently bought a burrito and was astounded to see that it was made in the fair city of Minneapolis, a surprise since I had always thought of Minneapolis as being a place so white that it's nickname is 'The Wonder Bread Capital of America'. Burritos are about as native to Minnesota as fish are to the moon. What comes next? Does my chop suey start getting shipped in from Tel Aviv?
How is it th...
Every year since 1969 Bavaria's greatest inventors have assembled for a contest that would try their talents to the limits. It is a grueling test of imagination, innovation, creativity, genius and, well, madness. No, it is not a gathering of engineers designing next year's new BMW, it is the annual Karl Valentine Schonsten Blodsinn Wettbewerb.
Schonsten Blodsinn Wettbewerb?
Translated that's...
Welcome dear readers as we take a trip through time back to when our forefathers were writing that fateful and world famous bit of legislation so beloved and contested over in our time, the Amendments to the Constitution of the United States of America, otherwise known as the Bill of Rights. We hover now above them, fully able to see and hear all that transpires below:
An assembled mass of var...
A few months before the start of the Super Bowl game a few years back I returned to the part of the country I am from and made the irritating discovery that everyone there had gone nuts.
Normally Wisconsinites are the most normal people you can get, excepting of course people from Madison who many suspect escaped from the space ship that crashed at Roswell. Wisconsinites are so normal that No...
A Jewish guy, a Muslim guy and God walk into a bar..........wait a moment......nuts.... I can't remember how that one goes....
I'll have to tell you another one instead:
God is busy at his desk in heaven looking over paperwork when St, Peter comes up to Him.
"Hello, St. Peter. What's happening?"
"Good day, Lord. There is a Jewish man and a Muslim man at the gate who wish to go over so...
Due to the corporation American International Group even THINKING about suing the U.S. Government after getting bailed out by every taxpayer in the country the government has responded by demanding that the company drop the "American" part of their name. Ex AIG CEO Maurice Greenberg wanted to join in a joint lawsuit against the government stating that the details of the bailout deprived sharehold...
A while back Mattel Inc. announced that it would be 'downsizing' their trademark, their symbol, their meal ticket, the Barbie doll.
Barbie, that picture perfect plastic woman doll who represented many a young girl's dreams of femininity. "Downsizing' in this respect means that her famous hourglass figure- the dimensional stuff many would be Playboy bunnies dreams are made of- were reduced to a...