It seems the Mayans were wrong. The world will keep traveling around the sun, or the sun around the world if you're a Fundamentalist. But this most recent apocalypse averted got me to ruminating, as is my want, about New Year's Eve and all the weight that is arbitrarily attached to this one night's passage of time. It took me back to last New Year's Eve and a question asked me, "What's your resolu...
This September a woman asked me, "Yom Kippur, that's the holiday you buy the tickets for?" I found this somewhat disturbing since it was my Aunt Sadie. 95, I chalked it up old age. Ageist humor aside, I'll not reveal the identity of the woman who actually asked it because she is a shiksa in good standing with me. But it got me to thinking.
It got me to thinking why it bothered me because I wasn...
(New York-NY) Ted Kennedy, the Lion of the Senate or given his girth more like the Whale, died this week. The 40-year Senator eulogized by politicians while Twitter tweets "Mary Jo Kopechne is probably giving Ted an earful right now as he makes his descent into purgatory for a LONG time." What does it mean, not for the Kennedy legacy but for me? Hey, I never claimed to be a saint or even Irish Cat...
(New York-NY) Once again, to my loyal five readers (though I believe it shot up to seven last week), I apologize for not cloaking my viewpoint in satire. Simply put, there are just some issues that need to be addressed directly. Healthcare debate is one of them, actually the lack of debate.
What is not open for debate is that the individuals who shut down town hall meetings were either directly...
(New York-NY) For my loyal readers, all five, you're used to my point of view clothed in the satire of news parody. Not exactly "The Onion", but at times I like to think they come to the level of a scallion, perhaps a leek. But something happened this weekend that simply forced me to come out from behind the parody. An event so seismic that I'm convinced like Jennifer Lopez's red carpet Grammy "t...
(New York-NY) I confess. I Twitter. I feel compelled to say that I have been on Twitter since the beginning of the year, not exactly the cutting edge, though not like the fair weather, fad Twitters like Oprah Winfrey. I thought more of her to jump on the followers bandwagon of Ashton Kutcher. She probably bought a CB radio when it was a fad as well. But the confession is not that I Twitter, but th...
(New York-NY) Allow me to step out from behind my "Wizard of Oz" like curtain of news parody, gentle reader. (And I mean "reader" literally judging from my weekly page views.) And allow me to address one reader in particular, Madonna Louise Ciccone. (Yes, the contradiction is not lost on me that in the same paragraph I claim an anemic readership I also claim that one of the most influential, not t...
(New York-NY) Chris Rock said, I paraphrase, "Every time I watch the news, and I see a crime being committed, I say 'Please don't let it be a brother. Please don't let it be a brother' Then, I see the footage. Damn." I feel the same way as a Jew with Bernie Madoff.
Is it my age, the downside of 50? My parents weren't Survivors, but they knew Survivors. Pogrom fear? One of the first things I di...
(New York-NY) I think it was either Sigmund Freud or any post-rhinoplasty Bat Mitzvah girl from Long Beach (That's Long Island…not California.) who wrote "I am a Jew, and it always seemed to me not only shameful but downright senseless to deny it." And that's my sentiment at Christmas. But, like Freud, I'm not particularly religious. You could call me ultra-Reformed. Or as my friend Jon Braunhut w...
(Washington, D.C.) To once and for all prove that that he's not too old to handle the responsibilities of President, John McCain has contacted the producer of the reality show "Survivor", Mark Burnett, asking Burnett to let him compete. Addressing the move at a press conference this week, McCain said, "If I can survive an endorsement from George Bush, I can survive anything."
(Hollywood--CA) Th...
(New York, NY) "Maxim" magazine has come out with its "100 Hottest Cabinet Members". Number one was Condoleezza Rice. And in a surprising turn, coming in at number two was Abraham Lincoln's Secretary of State, William Seward.
(Washington, D.C) "The Washington Post" reported that the Presidential candidate most likely to quote from "Dirty Harry", John McCain, is still behind Barack Obama in fu...
DISCLAIMER: The following contains a frank discussion of sex and politics. Those who prefer them in separate doses please read no further.
(New York-NY) To those of you expecting the usual news parody, sorry. After watching the Vice Presidential debate between Senator Joe "Smooth Fella" Biden and Sarah "Cha-Cha" Palin, I feel compelled to just state my view, no parody intended. Why? I am convin...
(New York--New York) Publishing giant Random House today announced the title of Lynne Spears, mother to Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears, new book on parenting, "I'm O.K, My Kids' Suck!"
(New Dehli--India) An Indian court has suspended an arrest warrant against Richard Gere for publicly kissing a Bollywood actress. Reacting to the sudden dismissal, the Buddhist "American Giglio"'s ex-wife, Cindy...
(New York--NY)Meet the girl who could have had web fame if it weren't for a cruel twist of, uh, Fate.
You may ask where our new co-host, Amber Colt, found her? Well, the story just came to Amber, and we think you'll find it if nothing else amusing.
Check her out.
(New York--NY) Ed-E-torial is back, and you voted. And yes, Amber Colt will be the new co-host.
Not only is Amber ready to take on the tough stories, she's ready to take off her top for a good cause. And that cause is Darfur relief.
If Amber can do that, can't you do your part to help? Visit eBay to bid on Amber's bra.
And check out Ed-E-torial 24.
(New York--NY) You spoke, and though I'm at the age where I now have as much hair growing out of my ears and nose as the top of my head, I listened. You voted, and unlike the 2000 election, we counted every vote...once...even mine. So Amber Colt will be the new co-host of Ed-E-torial.
New Ed-E-torials will be coming to TheSpoof soon!
Check out the debut of Amber Colt.
(Los Angeles - CA) Following the popularity of MTV's California based reality show The Hills, the network has decided to launch a new reality show targeted at teens in the Deep South. The Sticks will feature four teens growing up on a trailer court in Jonesboro, Arkansas. The series will debut with an episode featuring Clanton and Eula Mae going to the barn dance, learning they ar...
(Los Angeles-CA) Vermont apple cheek fresh and pure as un-stepped on cocaine, Paris Hilton told TMZ exclusively that she no longer is just looking for good looking, Greek shipping heirs to "hook-up with", because according to Hilton, "I already slept with all of them. Isn't that hot?"...
(New York-NY) Thanks for e-maling Wheelchair Bob. We got so many that we decided to give him some special time in this Ed-E-torial.
(Greenwich-England) As of 2009, Greenwich Mean Time will be changed to a new, more accurate standard ...Flava Flav Time. Peace out...
(New York-NY) We never thought Ed would agree to it, and it's not like you haven't e-mailed us about bringing on a younger co-host. So meet Amber Colt. Now, you, yes YOU, decide if Amber should come back or not. Wherever you're viewing this, please vote by leaving a comment or e-mail on the site. Thanks!...
(New York--NY) Someone asked me this New Year's Eve (Or to be accurate, I guess I should correctly say last New Year's Eve. We haven't had New Year's Eve 2008 yet.) what my resolution was? Maybe it was one too many Ketel One Koolers, but I said "not to die."...