Nigel Thrumpton looks like any other postal worker as he goes about his job. He parks his Nisan Micra at the start of his round, drags his heavy mail bag from the boot and starts delivering letters to the good people of Hemel Hempstead. He seems like a happy chap and he whistles the first two lines of whatever song he heard last on the car radio, over and over, for the next three hours as he goe...
The story so far…
Analicia Cobalt is a young woman, recently graduated and on a teacher training assignment in her home town of Watford. When she goes to the job centre to tell them she is no longer looking for work, she meets Marcus Beige, a dashing young man to whom she is immediately attracted. Following a date at a coffee shop, Marcus invites Analicia back to his house. They chat in the...
There is absolutely no doubt that one of the most successful, one of the most controversial and one of the most outspoken bands of the 1980s was U2, Culture Club and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. And yet none of them match up to the pure post-punk, pre-power-pop, rough-pop-rock panache of Gary and the Gobshites.
Gary and the Gobshites epitomised the very essence of raging teen angst in the early...
Jean and I had been out three times in the last couple of weeks after chatting on the phone and by e-mail for a bit. I had answered her ad in the newspaper's dating section, and we seemed to get on pretty well. It was at our last date that Jean said she thought we should 'take things to the next level' when we got together next. To be honest, I was quite happy keeping things platonic - I hadn't...
To: Katie1988@topmail.com
From: SteveTheMan@talktalc.co.uk
Hi Katie - it was so nice to finally meet you! After exchanging all those emails about family trees and both being new to the whole ancestry thing it was handy to exchange ideas. I've found a few more distant relatives on my Dad's side, so my tree is beginning to fill out now. How are you getting on? Maybe we could meet up again to c...
Do you have debts? Do you struggle to repay what you owe? Do you worry about your health and that of your family?
If so, you are not alone. Thousands of people are in the same boat. It seems like everyone is after your money doesn't it? And there is never enough to go round.
Well some people have discovered a way to get help.
"Carol Vordeman's" Consolidated Loans and Leg Brokerage of...
Liam Gallagher's new brother-free band Beady Eye has now had their first gig and released their first single and album to mixed reviews.
But it is the name of the reformed Oasis that I'm interested in. They could have carried on as Oasis - it's pretty much the same band with one (OK fairly important) member missing - but they decided to go for a new name and stop playing the old Oasis...
Concern is growing in the scientific and computing communities that the addressing scheme for Internet Protocol version 6 may not big enough. IP addresses are the unique identifiers assigned to networked devices. They are used to reference each individual connection to the Internet. IP version 6 is due to replace the current system, IP version 4, due to the lack of available addresses.
When...
-It's All Star Celebrity Family Fortunes and I am your host Vermin K!
(crowd - yaaay!)
-Welcome! Welcome everyone to the show. Welcome to All Star Celebrity Family Fortunes!
-Now we have two families here who I'm sure you'll all know and I know you'll want to give them both a really big cheer.
(crowd - yaaay!)
-From Exeter it's the Asherwoods!
(crowd - yaay!)
-And from Libya...
Regular readers of The Spoof will be used to the mix of articles and adverts on the site. Recently, however, many people have questioned the quality of the stories being published.
Well, for the last eighteen months, there have in fact been two distinct sets of articles; the set you see here and a 'Premium' set of much funnier stories professionally edited and without any annoying, slow-loadin...
The United States' newest Aircraft Carrier, the USS Ronald Regan, has just begun full operational duty, and most mornings a church service is held on deck to bless the ship and crew.
However, this is not always possible, because some mornings the deck is not accessible. For this is a new class of dual-role ship. The incredible truth is that the Ronald Regan is not only a super-carrier, but al...
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be fighting women off with a stick.
However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
"My d...
A court case jury were today played the controversial tape of a conversation between a group of Nuns and a New York towing company. The case has been brought against NY Auto Removal by the Sisters of Unconditional Love alleging that their car was removed illegally.
The Nuns claim that they left their Hyundai outside a bar on a quiet Eastchester side street for a few minutes, and when they c...
Your intrepid reporter Roy Turse here, reporting from a party on the fringes of St. Albans in the UK's Home Counties. I'm here to report on a phenomenon hitting this part of the world like a comet - if a comet was to hit the world in St. Albans and was made of beer!
Tactical Nuclear Penguin is the unlikely name for a new super-strong beer from the controversial Scottish brewery BrewDog. It is...
The Voyage of the Starship Enterprise
Chapter Six: The Trouble With Turse
Stardate 69670.01 (just before lunch).
Captain's log incidental, Captain 'Buck' Kirk reporting.
At 06:52 today one of the Enterprise's escape pods was jettisoned unexpectedly after the ship's control system was overridden. The escape pod's trajectory swiftly took it behind the van Halen belt and therefore out of...
In a scathing article yesterday, Mr Skoob, the scourge of fleet street, levelled accusations at Roy Turse about his 'prediction' of G20 demonstrator damage, and suggested that he may have been involved in anarchistic activities. In the light of these allegations, several other writers have also turned on Roy, forcing him to issue the following statement:
It was an accident! By coincidence I w...
All over the UK there is one type of establishment that is bucking the trend and expanding fast. Pawnbrokers are spreading rapidly and as the recession bites, they are becoming the preferred way for thousands of people to raise much needed cash.
Some of the success is due to the change in the public's perception of Pawnbrokers. A few years ago, Pawnbrokers were seen as unscrupulous places whic...
Happy April Fool's Day to all The Spoof! readers
Did you notice the tricks we played on you to celebrate April Fool's Day this year? Have a look through the articles on the main pages of TheSpoof.com and I'm sure you will notice that all is not as it first appears.
Found the April Fool's stories? They are mixed up with all the others, but you will probably be able to pick them out if you c...
Recap: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen
Roy Turse gradually became aware of the rhythmic sound of creaking timbers and slapping water. The aroma of pitch, overlaid by the stuffiness of the...
Remember when solar panels were so ineffective you could only use them to heat up water from tepid to luke-warm? Or when, in order to heat the average home you needed a solar power panel the size of Wales?
Well all that's changed. The latest Power Panels are so efficient they can be used almost anywhere. Imagine having a torch that you can leave on all the time and it never goes out! Using...
Recap: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six
Previously on Below Decks…
The Frigate Buggerall has set sail from Bristol Harbour, its five year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life, and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before in a leaky boat. A motley collection of crew members has been assembled unde...
At exactly 23:25 today it became apparent that this concept was not going to work. The idea of writing a story that had a headline as ridiculous as 'Secret Story - Do Not Read This' was perhaps well intentioned, but it was always likely to fail.
For a start it was evident that any story of such content would find it hard to get through the editing system. Secondly, nobody would bother reading...