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Funny story:  A Beginner's Guide to German

A Beginner's Guide to German

German is an language spoken by over 80 million people. There have been many great people throughout history who have spoken it. Learning German can allow you to understand anyone from Wankel to Seimens, from Kahn to Kant. From Bach to the Fuhrer. It is an elegant but guttural language, which is intended to be shouted angrily in a shrill voice. One important thing to remember is that all...
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Funny story:  The Somewhat Violent Adventures of Sherlock Hunt: Murder at Black Dog Manor

The Somewhat Violent Adventures of Sherlock Hunt: Murder at Black Dog Manor

It was to my utter delight that I learned I was to become assistant to the great Sherlock Hunt, master detective. I had heard such stories about the man that I dared not believe I would have a chance to actually work with him. Nevertheless it was to be my employ, and on the day it began I hastened to Baker Street with a spring in my step and joy in my heart. "Good morning Mr Hunt," I ejaculated...
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Funny story:  Birdwatching with Bill and Kenneth

Birdwatching with Bill and Kenneth

Bill: Hello there, and welcome to Birdwatching. My name's Bill Palmer. Kenneth: And I'm Kenneth Purves. B: We're here at Dorking Reservoir, it's a real top place for birdwatching and having a lark. We've got our little hide, Ken's got his thermos of coffee so we're all ready for a good night's twitching. K: I'm hoping we'll see lots of birds tonight. B: Well, Ken, this here reservoir u...
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Funny story:  Tales from the journal of seminal explorer Dr David Livingstone

Tales from the journal of seminal explorer Dr David Livingstone

Feb 23 1853 After a great journey through the jungle, we finally laid eyes on the most splendid water-fall I have ever seen. It stands over 100 yards high, and I have named it after our glorious Queen. We took a brisk lunch of crumpet and tinned marmalade, after which I ascended the great watery cliff face. How joyous it was to observe the view from such a height, and to feel the breeze from so...
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Funny story:  Tougal McDougal: The Horrors of Poverty

Tougal McDougal: The Horrors of Poverty

Helloo, this is the Reverend Tougal McDougal of the Prophylactic Church of Scotland in Kirkintilloch. I'd like to talk to you today about poverty. Poverty can be a terrible blight on a community. Recently in Kirkintilloch we've had a problem with tramps. They come over to the kirk, dressed in rags, drunk aff their tits, sleeping in the grounds. It's quite hard to tell them apart from the local...
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Funny story:  Tougal McDougal: The Myth of the Frugal Scot

Tougal McDougal: The Myth of the Frugal Scot

Helloo. My name is Reverend Tougal McDougal, and I'm the resident vicar here at the Scottish Presbian Church of Kirkintilloch. I am often asked, why are Scots so cheap? Why are we so sparing with oor money? I'm asked this at least a dozen times each service. People come to me and say, "Tougal! Can ye spare us a penny for an eighth of an ounce of porridge oats? Can ye lend us a boab for a bucket...
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Funny story:  Great Battleships of World War II

Great Battleships of World War II

The golden age of the battleship was undoubtedly World War II. Although first used in the 1800s, initial models were pulled by dolphins, who quickly tired. Thankfully the invention of the steam engine soon led to vastly increased power and size of the ships. By the time WW2 arrived, these iron titans of the sea were ready to cock-slap each other out of the water with great vigour, ultimately decid...
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Funny story:  The naked German economic miracle

The naked German economic miracle

Germans love to be naked. They also have an economy which has largely weathered the financial crisis well. In one town in Upper Lower Saxon Bavaria, Nakenstadt, both of these elements come together to provide a uniquely Teutonic way of life. In Nakenstadt, everyone is naked all the time. It is the law. From the joggers in the local park to the belt-sanders working in the factories, there is bar...
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Funny story:  The US town with the most weapons

The US town with the most weapons

The town of Bullitt, Arizona has the dubious position of being the place with more weapons per person than anywhere else in the USA. The USA is itself the country with the most heavily armed citizenry in the world. So what is everyday life like in Bullitt? TheSpoof investigated. The first thing you notice upon arriving in the town is that the roads are very wide, as most people drive around in...
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Funny story:  Today's Horoscopes

Today's Horoscopes

By Mystic Colin Aries March 21 - April 19 You will receive some good news today about a missing pet rodent. Taurus April 20 - May 20 A nonchalant sausage will lead the way to a new nailcare product supplier. Gemini May 21 - June 20 A poorly prepared vol-au-vent will have disastrous effects on an auntie's hair. Cancer June 21 - July 22 You are infected with cancer. Consult you...
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Funny story:  London's 1908 Olympics

London's 1908 Olympics

London 2012 has filled the media with tales of winning and coming second and third, and has boosted the nation's happiness rather like an Olympic penis being repeatedly rammed down one's throat. But how does London 2012 compare with the first time London held the Olympics in 1908? Things have certainly changed a lot since then, but in some ways they have not changed much at all. Great Brita...
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Funny story:  Writing E-pet-aphs

Writing E-pet-aphs

Gladys Mycock has an unusual job. He/she used to work as a transsexual bra-fitter, but has found more satisfying work in the world of writing poetic epitaphs for family pets. "It's not so much about the imagery, it's more important to find something that rhymes," he/she says. This week has been busy after the local pet shop burnt down. Gladys has been run off his/her feet trying to pen suita...
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Funny story:  The footprint elimination extremists

The footprint elimination extremists

A group of extreme environ-mentalists have been attempting to promote their frugal lifestyle. The Footprint Elimination Group (FEG) are determined to live their lives making as little impact on the planet as possible. FEG members eat nothing but lentils and water, and their clothes are made from lentils too. Twenty of them sleep side by side on the floor of an apartment they have rented, which...
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Funny story:  A French satirist's view of Europe

A French satirist's view of Europe

Bonjour! I am Francois Francaise, France's leading satirist. I laugh at your pathetic English attempts at satire on this LeSpoof website. By that I mean of course that I do not laugh at it at all, because it is not funny. I bet you couldn't even grow a satirical moustache if you tried. France is the home of satire - we invented it. Always remember, satire is like a metaphor. So let me begin...
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Funny story:  Let's ABBA curry

Let's ABBA curry

The world's first ever ABBA themed curry restaurant has opened in Stockholm, Sweden this week. The menu features typical Indian food, but every item on it has had the title of an ABBA song shoehorned into the name. The full menu includes such delights as: Knowing Me Knowing Vindaloo Chiquitikka Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Mango Chutney After Midnight) Fernaando Dancing Keema...
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Funny story:  The brave buttocks of World War One

The brave buttocks of World War One

In the early 1900s there was an arms race throughout Europe - or to be more precise, a buttock race. Countries vied with each other to produce armies of men with the finest pertest buttocks. New photographic magazines such as the British "Cheek" and "Rump" and their German counterparts "Das Ass" and "Teutonic Tushy" glorified the best bums their countries had to offer. Perhaps it was inevitable th...
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Funny story:  Inside the hospital of the future

Inside the hospital of the future

British hospitals are currently facing significant cuts and changes to the way they operate. However one hospital has managed the amazing feat of massively cutting costs while still exceeding government targets. I took a tour of Dorking's Idi Amin Hospital where the motto is "doctoring is in our blood". Instead of expensive human nurses tending to patients' needs, they have robot matrons on all...
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Funny story:  Remembering Prince Albert's balls

Remembering Prince Albert's balls

Every since Tess Tickle saw a photograph of one of Prince Albert's grand balls, she has been fascinated by them. The formality, the decoration and the sheer fecundity of them has brought her much enjoyment over the years. Now she has written a book on the subject. Prince Albert loved holding balls. His favourite place to hold his balls was at Balmoral Castle. From the top of the grand staircase...
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Funny story:  Football's greatest toupees

Football's greatest toupees

As the follicles of Euro 2012 are plucked away by the tweezers of footballing history, we examine the role of hair - or lack of it - in the world's favourite ball-sport. Most football fans will tell you that the reason they watch the game is for the hairstyles. But footballers have not always been as hirsute as they are today. During the Middle Ages, only bald men were allowed to play the game.
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Funny story:  Japan enjoys golden age of toilets

Japan enjoys golden age of toilets

Japan has long been renowned as a hi-tech country, boasting such inventions as the karaoke machine, Tamagochi and the talking toilet. But it is in the amazing development of the latter that the Japanese have truly reached the pinnacle of human achievement. Almost every home in Japan now has a robot toilet. Not only that but the average Japanese loo now has a higher IQ than the average American...
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Funny story:  Monty's Airborne Lions

Monty's Airborne Lions

There are many amazing untold tales of World War II. Perhaps one of the most extraordinary is that of the Airborne Lions, a British parachute regiment commanded by Field Marshal Montgomery. They only flew one mission before they were disbanded, but that mission was to prove critical to the war's outcome. The idea for the mission came from Churchill himself, who believed that air-dropping a numb...
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Funny story:  Dorking man's South Pole bid

Dorking man's South Pole bid

Norman Springer of Dorking, is planning to become the first man to reach the South Pole on a pogo stick. He announced his intent at a press conference this morning, in which he spent the whole time pogoing. Springer, aged 37, has previously been the first man to travel on a pogo stick from his house in south Dorking to Dorking Deepdene train station. This is a feat he will have to repeat if he...
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John Walsh's PTSD doctor in plagiarism scandal

Army doctor filed the same medical review hundreds of times for soldiers looking to get tax free disability pay!

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