Radiant rubber or not that coarse # 16 sandpaper voice rasped the baby angel right out of bliss and back into a dirty old Dodge Caravan for an unwelcomed reunion with Buster and a consoling communion with a two yet free wheeling cycle named Paz.
Wuz it good for you, croaked the frog with the princely hands to the winged victory prone now in defeat amid the pine cones, needles , and other pri...
Dear Ass,
I have been a Democrat and a Catholic all of my life. The Democrat party has paralleled the profound social justice teachings of the Roman Catholic Church in many ways. The defense of the poor, the immigrant, the non-combatant in war and the person in need of health care have been Democrat doctrine and Catholic dogma. Opposition to Capital Punishment has been a Democrat platform p...
An astute and spiritual reader of TheSpoof.com who apparently visits the haunts of Pointer with religious regularity was recently gazing at Pointer's pointer when it was noticed by the anonymous observer that an image that looked an awful lot like Mary, the Mother of God could be discerned after only two minutes of cross eyed staring.
Thinking his eyes or his mind's eye may be playing tricks...
Dear P4YG,
I have never had a G-spot orgasm as far as I know. In fact, I do not even think I have a G-Spot. Some of my lovers have spent half the night digging around down thwere in adesperate search for the mysterous magical mound. Though I keep telling them that there probing does as much for my sexual response they just keep rubbing. Do you think I might be a good candidate for collagen...
Dear FRFRED,
I have been applying to Roman Catholic Seminaries now for a dozen years. I thought 12(apostles, tribes of Israel, sons of Jacob) might be my lucky charm. But now the Vatican has issued even tighter restrictions on applicants. Do you think it fair that my desire to live and work and prey, er, I meant, pray among men just like me should be denied after so many Catholic queers have e...
Historians and political scientists have been declaring GW Bush the worst President Ever almost unanimously, at least until recently...
A revisionist cell has started to weaken in its resolve to cement W as the Worst ever. A small group pf dissenters are insisting that James Buchanan was worse than Bush. Sure creating the conditions for a civil war may be bad( more on this later) but rememb...
Lexicographers have been tracking the term for centuries. Who could question their curiosity? Imagine a tool that could perform eight tasks! And so grammerians can't keep their fucking research off of the word FUCK!
It's a verb meaning at least to pierce and usually in a sexual way, though there are exceptions as in: "Bush fucked America royally!" It can be a noun as in : "What the fuck did...
As studies confirm the rising tide of adultery among baby boom boomers and new brides, an internet dating service for the drunken lusty has caught the wave and is sitting on top of the face of Uncle Sam. Satisfied customer testimonials on the website ads witness to the success of Highinfidelity.bedspins:
Chloe, age 21, married for four months wrote : I haven't had such good sex with excellen...
Just as the Princeton, New Jersey based multi-million dollar testing industry has been losing business due to the critical scrutiny of the best pinnacles of higher learning, the scholastic aptitude analyzers have marketed two new tests. One will provide eighth graders with a pre- Preliminary Aptitude Test. This would set up an 8, 10(PSAT) and 11 and 12th grade scholastic aptitude hat trick.
N...
With Buster still in ecstatic after glow in Chapter 19 and a not very hit upon transitional teaser in Ch 20, dear readers, the baby Angel awoke frightened by the possible fading out of her tale. Miss B.Angel had a sexsual fantasy of her ownie while Buster lay on the beach in coitus tsunamius with the mysterious tremenda Lilly Marlenya.
Having your feathery wings caressed, any angel, baby, te...
Washington had whalebone teeth. Lincoln suffered from depression. Grant was often drunker than W in the frat days. Arthur was ginormous and Roosevelt was in a wheelchair and had a really homely wife which is why he gave so much dictation to his secretary, but that's a spoof for another time. Truman blew up cities. Eisenhower was boring. Kennedy watched too many movie starlets and Nixon was a crook...
Measure the blood shed in the Iraq War and then the 40% of the entire Middle East's oil reserves that the Iraqi government has just put up for sale. Is that bloody drop in the bucket of blood what motivated the US neocon chickenhawks and dupes like John Major to go along with the human sacrifice to the god of oil?
China Oil and Shell have already laid claim to contracts and now multinational...
Karl Marx was right, it seems. Eventually the human race would reach the inevitable conclusion that cooperation and not competition would bring about the greatest benefits for the greatest number of banks and financial sideshows. Of course the PBS Children's perenial hit show had been trying to teach us that for generations.
The part Marx got wrong was his prediction that the dictatorship of...
Who would ever believe that an innocent wink, or so it seemed, followed by a flirtatous nod which got be blown by the Ice Princess herself in a steamy oral sex celebration that nearly melted her igloo, would end up with me holding a supoena in my half frozen hand.
But that's what has happened as Anchorage Superior Court Judge Craig Stowers ordered that all of Palin's private emails must be p...
Kate Moss, Model Extraordinaire, has revealed to thespoof.thelook her secrets of fashion:
Rule One: Starve Yourself
Rule Two: After you starve yourself, don't have anything to eat.
Rule Three: Don't forget the pills, diuretics, ipecac syrup and lots of speed
Rule Four: Rehab is a storehouse of fashion looks!
Rule Five: Remember , vertical stripes can make you disappear
Rule Six:...
The fellas back at the Shiftless Lightning Bar and Grill are still in disbelief. I kept them informed about my travels on the way to rendezvous with Sarah in Wasilla, my email to the campaign website of the Alaskan atavar to tell her that I received the wink.
I informed them of the nod in the possible Presidential Ice Palace and they mocked me on myspace and made many facetious comments on fac...
OK, so I know you already think I'm crazy for thinking that VPILF Sarah Palin winked directly at me during her debate with ole Joe Biden.
The supporting evidence of my actual baptismal name, Joe Sixpack, seems to have done little good in persuading the public to accept my modest claim that Ice Princess Palin truly batted an eye in my unworthy direction.
Therefore I, Joe 6-P, is somewhat he...
If you are anything like the guys down at the Shiftless Lightning Bar and Grill, you most likely won't believe me. But I have never been surer of anything in my whole life.
I was sitting at home with the usual, jumbo bag of Ruffles, large onion dip and enough suds to wash down Thanksgiving dinner. Been looking forward to the VP debate ever since McCain had the good sense to choose a Milf to...
Dear ASSFF$$G,
I've been thinking (I know that is not encouraged for Catholic laity and has long been impossible for clergy) but I think gays are good catholics.
They never have abortions which seems to be the only moral teaching that matters at election time. They don't use birth control. Since they are not allowed in the US military they can't kill.
Doesn't this make them good cathol...
There once was a bold lady from cold Alaska,
Who would brag incessantly of her greatness if ya asked her!
She would always put on a great big act,
That would inevitably cover up the obvious fact,
That she did not know her pointy elbow from her fat ass, ya!...
They come from a certain time and have a certain age. Call it good manners or mistake it for sexist condescension but there are some men still around who will exercise restraint and forebearance when a woman , even one with whom they are competing, displays ignorance or arrogance, vices that too often seem to gravitate together.
In what was billed to be the Thursday Thrilla for the VP Villa,...
Dear P4YG,
I am a mature (let's be honest) an elderly white man who finds himself in a rivalry that he has dreaded all of his white life. Raised in a multi generational macho military family, I was always taught the importance of "size" and the fear that white dominance would be overshadowed by the frightening superiority of the African penile enhancing gene.
Now, I am literally fighting...