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Funny story:  #IsItOK? - Questions you've wondered about, but never dared ask

#IsItOK? - Questions you've wondered about, but never dared ask

Inspired by the Last Leg (a Channel 4 show hosted by Adam Hills), I've come up with a series of questions I've wondered about, but never dared ask... 1. Do any Sikhs wear a pre-wrapped turban, effectively a hat? 2. Would a Native American be allowed to be a Muslim, even though they can't grow a beard? 3. Can you tell a widow that you never really liked her husband anyway? 4. Do Jehovah's Wit...
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Funny story:  Useless signs - part 2

Useless signs - part 2

As I continue to wander round this green and pleasant land, I have seen many a sign. These are normally yellow and inform me that the reason it's taking ages to get anywhere, is because there is a lane closed in Birmingham. Most signs are useful. They provide important information, such as if you drive round the next bend at your current speed, you will fly off the edge of a cliff and discover if...
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Funny story:  Cross Dressing through history

Cross Dressing through history

In the dawn of time, all humans were naked, so there was no such thing as cross dressing, but current research shows that cross dressing is a psychological condition, so although there was no cross dressing, there were cross dressers. These people must have been very confused, and didn't know how to solve it. Then, about ten thousand years before some hippy was killed for pointing out the flaw...
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Funny story:  Facts for impressing your friends

Facts for impressing your friends

They say that knowledge is 'da bomb'. Quite who 'they' are, is yet to be discovered. However, when presented with somebody else's amazing fact, people are quite often left stumped for an amazing fact in return. Well, no longer. Here is a list of fifty astounding facts to delight and amaze people with, and we can guarantee that nobody will have heard them before, because they're all made up. Leg...
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Funny story:  Trials and Tribulations of Transitioning - toilets

Trials and Tribulations of Transitioning - toilets

Toilets in the UK come in three varieties. Four if you count baby changing facilities with a lavatory in them. There are disabled toilets, men's toilets and women's toilets. Occasionally, the latter two are combined, but it is rare. Although the pictogram for the ladies toilet is the same as the one for the male toilet, but with the inclusion of a skirt, this does not always mean that a man in a s...
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Funny story:  Trials and tribulations of transitioning - the questions

Trials and tribulations of transitioning - the questions

As a man who is in the process of becoming a woman, I get asked quite a lot of questions. In a bid to help every M2F person out there, I'll give you the answers to all your questions in this easily digestible guide. Whatever the question, the answer is: "Mind your own bloody business." There, that wasn't too hard, was it? The above sentiment is the one you really need, but some people jus...
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Funny story:  Useless signs - part one

Useless signs - part one

As I wander round this great country of ours, I have come across a many a sign that is completely pointless, useless and a waste of materials. The first one I cam across was a badly handwritten sign in an optician's window. It was written on a sheet of A5 paper, in red ball point pen and said "Free eye tests tomorrow". Who was this sign aimed at? It was, in itself, a free eye test. If you could...
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Funny story:  Trials and Tribulations of Transitioning - shopping

Trials and Tribulations of Transitioning - shopping

When I first started cross dressing, shopping was difficult. Now, with my continuing journey into femininity, it has got no easier. The internet is pretty good for clothes shopping. By pretty good, I mean 'amazing'. You can buy anything on the internet: a nice party frock for the office party or a satin corset with holes in places that render the garment useless. Hats, shoes, underwear, attachm...
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Funny story:  Trails and tribulations of transitioning - changing name

Trails and tribulations of transitioning - changing name

Apparently you cannot just walk into a bank and ask them to change all of your cards to your new name. Even if you're in a dress. I went into a popular high street bank that is open on Saturdays. There were a few stares, but I'm used to that, and I used the ramp, it's easier in heels. Seriously, there were few people who stared, but not many. Yes, I was in a dress. A grey and black mid-calf...
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Funny story:  Trials and Tribulations of a cross dresser

Trials and Tribulations of a cross dresser

You turn up for work once in a wig, heels and a dress, and that's it, you're branded forever as a cross dresser. From that point on, every charity event, work's night out involving fancy dress and dress-down Friday, you're expected to turn up dressed as a woman. Eventually, even an alpha male will give in and admit his feminine side. And I'm anything but an alpha male. Well, okay, I admit it:...
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Funny story:  Caravan holiday becomes a boating holiday for one Dorking couple

Caravan holiday becomes a boating holiday for one Dorking couple

Selma and Cedric Seeward, a couple from Dorking, took a caravanning holiday to Truro. All was going well, if a bit wet, when the caravan park was hit by six inches of rain in one hour, bursting the banks of the local river. "There was quite a lot of rain," said Selma. "Wasn't there Cedric?" "There was quite a lot of rain," Cedric confirmed. As the pair watched from the caravan window, the...
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Funny story:  The day the Olympic Torch came to town

The day the Olympic Torch came to town

The Olympic Torch came to my town today. It came at ten on a Sunday morning. This is better than two towns over, where it arrived at five in the morning. I went along as it's a free family event, and as I knew one of the runners, it would be a little churlish not to participate in this 'once in a lifetime' event that has been taking place for weeks and is now so banal even the BBC have stopped tal...
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Funny story:  Victorian Spoof discovered in Chelmsford Attic

Victorian Spoof discovered in Chelmsford Attic

The following is a Spoof news article from 1840, one of several articles discovered in a dusty box in the attic of Duncan Brown in Chelmsford. It has come to the attention of all rational minded individuals that our beloved Queen of a mere three years, Queen Victoria, intends to marry into German nobility. Polite society has given notice that it has been appalled that such Visigoth blood should...
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Funny story:  HG Wells's The Time Machine, as read by the author

HG Wells's The Time Machine, as read by the author

Tim Travola of Glasgow has been a massive fan of the novel HG Wells's The Time Machine since being eight years old. So much so, that it is the only book he has ever read, since discovering it. "I got to the point where I had to have it playing in the car while I drove," said Travola. "Then I started to wish I could have the audio version as read by the author." Unfortunately for Travola, HG...
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Funny story:  My week as a woman - day seven

My week as a woman - day seven

There was a sense of relief when I woke on day seven of my forfeit. My wife had decided I should feel the pains that a woman feels throughout a rather intense week. Having been through the pain of shopping, make-up, dressing, working, getting ready, dieting, going to the loo, undressing, walking, sitting, standing, lying, sleeping, meeting people, and many more, I felt that there was no more pain,...
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Funny story:  My week as a woman - day six

My week as a woman - day six

There is obviously something deeply wrong with me. I didn't think twice about the morning routine this morning. It's day six, the penultimate day of my forfeit for losing a bet with my wife on who can take more pain, men or women. I have spent the last five days experiencing several aspects of female pain. This morning, I removed the hair that had grown overnight around my thighs, moisturised, dre...
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Funny story:  My week as a woman - day five

My week as a woman - day five

I had a startling choice on the fifth day of my forfeit. Having eaten more chillies than me, and completed a one thousand piece jigsaw faster, my wife had decided to teach me the meaning of female pain by exposing it to me for an entire week. When I awoke on the Wednesday to the sound of my alarm going off at ridiculous o'clock, I remembered that I had to go into the office. My wife had told me...
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Funny story:  My week as a woman - day four

My week as a woman - day four

I had somehow managed to almost strangle myself during the night, and I woke up as tired as when I went to sleep. The nightie was described as sexy. I now appreciate that the moniker was attached by somebody who had never worn it. Red lace may leave little to the imagination, but it should not, under any circumstances be worn by anyone with skin. Lace may be the sexiest material on the planet, but...
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Funny story:  My week as a woman - day three

My week as a woman - day three

I was glad that I had the week off work for Easter. It was why my wife had chosen this week for my forfeit, but I knew full well that she would have insisted I go to work, and then checked up on me. For the whole week I would experience the pain of femininity on pain of pain. Believe me when I say that the pain of being a woman for one week can in no way compare to what my wife is capable of. O...
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Funny story:  My week as a woman - day two

My week as a woman - day two

I awoke on the Sunday morning, momentarily forgetting about my forfeit. I had lost a bet with my wife on the subject of pain. My wife decided over the course of a week, I would discover the pain women put up with every day. The previous day's shopping trip came back to me as I rolled over to get five more minutes, only to get my thumb caught in some lacy contraption I had gone to sleep in. As I...
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Funny story:  My week as a woman - day one

My week as a woman - day one

I learned one very important lesson in this particular week: never make a bet with your wife when she's in a bad mood. Firstly, wives do not make a bet with their husband unless they are one hundred percent certain of winning, and secondly, they can be very, very (very) vindictive. First up, I am six foot two inches tall, balding of head and hair sprouting of body. I take size eleven shoes, and...
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Funny story:  Letters To The Editor From Famous Opium Addicts

Letters To The Editor From Famous Opium Addicts

Last week, we asked for celebrity opiate users to drop us a line and tell us about the highs and the lows of their addiction. Unfortunately, all the famous opium users are now dead. Fortunately, Derek Acorah popped into the Spoof offices and was able to contact famous opium users from across the centuries. There was a downside to this, as Derek Acorah popped into the Spoof offices this we...
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