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Funny story:  Helen Flanagan Haunted By Traumatic Supermarket Excursion

Helen Flanagan Haunted By Traumatic Supermarket Excursion

Coronation Street's Helen Flanagan - also known as Rosie Webster, and the one who constantly bottles it on 'I'm A Celebrity! - Get Me Out Of Here!' today revealed in an exclusive interviewwith Skoob Entertainment News stalwart Buffty Ginslinger, that she was left deeply traumatised following a visit to Asda. In Bolton. "It was terrifying," Ms Flanagan related to Ginslinger. "An absolute nightma...
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Funny story:  Local Man Describes Meeting With Funeral Director

Local Man Describes Meeting With Funeral Director

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, still in a state of mourning following the death of his father last week, today described how he visited a funeral director in order to make arrangements for the impending cremation. "I went to the registraer's office yesterday to register the death," Shuttlecock said. "They give you a green sheet which confirms certification of death, and grants legal permission...
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Funny story:  Local Man Describes The Last Week As: "A Bit Shit Really"

Local Man Describes The Last Week As: "A Bit Shit Really"

Local man and sometime Skoob News correspondent, Martin Shuttlecock, today explained that on a purely personal level, the last seven days have been: "A bit shit. To be honest." Upon being asked for further details, Shuttlecock revealed that last Sunday evening as he was browsing his favourite satirical website, his internet connection went down. As the hour was somewhat late, Shuttlecock decid...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock - Surfing The Net For Porn - Survey Results

Martin Shuttlecock - Surfing The Net For Porn - Survey Results

Failing satirist, buffoon of long standing, idiot, crap diplomat, pariah, awful cook, bad husband, and beer guzzling, chain smoking idiot, Martin Shuttlecock, today embarked upon a lunatic quest intended to restore to at least some degree, his points standing on satirical website www.thespoof.com. By hitting the lowest common denominator...and surfing the net for porn. Here, he explains the...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Barcelona - El Raval - Sunday: Another hot sunny Sunday in the Catalan capital. For the Shuttlecock clan, there was much to anticipate, for Sunday evenings are traditionally the best times to see the Magic Fountain on the olympic hill of Montjuic in all their spectacular glory. The whole clan were raring to go, and wallow in the Magic Fountain's musical lightshow. All that is, except Mart...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Five

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Five

Barcelona - Day Five - L'Aquarium. In his own words for once. "It was a weird sort of a day; day five. It kicked off with the kids getting bored in the apartment, so I had a conspiratorial word in the son-in-law's shell, and we decided to take them out for a walk to burn off some of that excess energy. "I don't know if any of you who are reading this know Barcelona at all - if you do, you...
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Funny story:  Local Man "Gutted" As Everton Stuff United

Local Man "Gutted" As Everton Stuff United

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock told reporters this morning that he was "gutted" after seeing his beloved Manchester United crash to an opening day of the season defeat to Everton at Goodison Park last night. Everton won the match 1-0 with a second half header from Belgian star, Marouane Fellaini. "I was gutted," Shuttlecock related. "I'd been working the 2-10 shift and I forgot to Sky-Plus th...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock's Letters from Barcelona - Day Four - The Nou Camp

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters from Barcelona - Day Four - The Nou Camp

No trip to Barcelona is ever considered complete without a visit to the magnificent Nou Camp. Which is where Martin Shuttlecock went on Friday, accompanied by his football loving son in law. Who filmed the event for posterity, unknown to Shuttlecock. "He had one of them orbital cameras," Shuttlecock revealed. "What does films and that. I didn't know he was filming it. I thought he was just t...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Three And El Raval

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Three And El Raval

Night time: Sagrada Familia, El Raval and Ladyboys - As regular readers are probably aware, Martin Shuttlecock can't write for peanuts, has no comprehension of the concept of humour, or irony, or even basic table manners. So we sent a Skoob News reporter out to interview him. In a cockroach infested crackhouse up an alley in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district. "It's not really all that...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Two

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Two

Day two: Day two got lost somehow. So this is really day three part one. Day three part two will appear at some point today, providing day three isn't quite as hectic as day two. Deep joy on day two with the discovery of a shop that sells pies. Things were looking up. Then things looked up even more with the discovery of a chip shop that sells fish and chips, pies, mushy peas and gravy too!...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One

"Well, that wasn't at all what I expected," said a decidedly disgruntled Martin Shuttlecock, from his garret in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district, last night. "The flight down here was pretty uneventful - although it wasn't a Lear jet, it was at least a jet, one of them airbus things. Still, at least we never did a belly flop onto the M27. And we didn't get served champagne by a bevvy of...
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Funny story:  So Like, How Did You Become A Spoofer? - Miley From California Replies

So Like, How Did You Become A Spoofer? - Miley From California Replies

How did you become a spoofer? Miley from Los Angeles replies: "Well, it's like I was kicking back, and you know, like chillin' by the hot tub, and I kinda got hooked by this article when I Googled Rob Pattinson...man, he's just soooo buff! And, like, this story came up about Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart being like, ah, real life vampires and stuff, and drinking bloody Mary's, you know?...
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Funny story:  Local Man Gets Something In His Eye As He Watches 'The Chase' On ITV

Local Man Gets Something In His Eye As He Watches 'The Chase' On ITV

Local Man, Martin Shuttlecock, reportedly a globetrotting trout tickler of some repute, today revealed that he got something in his eye, as he settled down at teatime to watch ITV's flagship pre-news quiz programme, 'The Chase' on the television. "I don't know what it was, but it hurt like buggery," Shuttlecock grumbled. "I had to take a couple of tablets because me eyeball came up all red and...
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Funny story:  Five Years Ago To The Very Day - Local Man Reminisces

Five Years Ago To The Very Day - Local Man Reminisces

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today quite uncharacteristically reminisced about this very day - except five years ago in the year of Our Lord, 2007. "United lost the FA Cup Final to Chelsea," Shuttlecock grumbled. "Gutted I was. Oh yeah, and I got married after fifteen years of dithering. I knew there was something..." Uncertain whether Shuttlecock was being serious or not, Skoob News check...
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Funny story:  Announcements - Dorking Library Lectures 2012

Announcements - Dorking Library Lectures 2012

Dorking Library has finally announced details of its Summer Lectures schedule, accidentally timed to clash with the Olympic Games and a brand new series of Downton Abbey on the television. 24/05/12 - Secrets Of Successful Stand Up Comedy French stand up comedy legend, Ricardo La Tete reveals how he took the Paris stand up scene by storm, and shares the secrets of his success with the good bu...
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Funny story:  Osama Bin Laden's Letters To Carol Vorderman And Other Celebrities Made Public

Osama Bin Laden's Letters To Carol Vorderman And Other Celebrities Made Public

Following the release to the public of the contents of documents written by Osama Bin Laden recently, from a stash of stored documentation confiscated in the May 2nd 2011 raid on his Abbotabad compound, during which he was killed, a second round of documents have been drip fed to the press. The first set of documents - mainly political - were predictably urging dissidents to target President Ob...
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Funny story:  The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Eight

The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Eight

Warning - this starts getting sinister now. Up until this point, it's basically just been a lot of silly twatting about, but that couldn't go on forever. This is The Spoof, and they don't take too kindly to pointless twatting about on here. They want loads of explicit sex and pervy lesbian stories involving bars of soap, nuns, Shetland ponies, George Foreman Grills, and a bit of additional, doggy...
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Funny story:  All Our Yesterdays - Julius Caesar And The Crossing Of The Rubicon.

All Our Yesterdays - Julius Caesar And The Crossing Of The Rubicon.

Italy - 49BC They stood on the banks of the Rubicon, Caesar and his faithful sidekick Brute. "Are we going or what, boss?" Brute asked. "Hmmm," Caesar prevaricated. "Getting cold feet are we?" "Nah. It's not that Brute me old mucker. I'm just a bit worried about the Romans, and how they'll react when they find out I'm actually a Lazio fan..." "Ah well, in for a cistercium in for...
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Funny story:  The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Seven

The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Seven

The story so far: It's still quite dull really. It's just a load of old toss about a bunch of upper crust kids who drink a lot and do drugs occasionally. It seems at this point that it has no idea where it's going, much less what it wants to be. All that's really happened so far is that The Spiffing Six - of whom there are only four (five if you include the priapic dog, Stiffy, who we hardly ev...
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Funny story:  All Our Yesterdays - Blazing Row In Wheelhouse Of RMS Titanic As It Almost Hits Iceberg

All Our Yesterdays - Blazing Row In Wheelhouse Of RMS Titanic As It Almost Hits Iceberg

11:33pm - 14th April 1912 - RMS Titanic... Latest News off the wires is that a furious row has just taken place in the wheelhouse of the White Star Line's RMS Titanic, currently approaching New York City from the north east, on her maiden voyage and possible blue ribbon winning trip, somewhere off Newfoundland. Skoob News's man on the scene, Gilbert Shuttlecock reported that a warning had be...
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Funny story:  All Our Yesterdays - Noah - "I'm Sorry, But You Ever Tried Rounding Up Dinosaurs?"

All Our Yesterdays - Noah - "I'm Sorry, But You Ever Tried Rounding Up Dinosaurs?"

Palestinian man, Noah, a noted seafaring type of chap, who saved all the animals, by marching them two-by-two onto his ark as the world was inexplicably and surprisingly flooded, today apologised for failing to save the dinosaurs. "I did me best," a tearful Noah told Skoob News. "But it was a tough call. Have you ever tried rounding up Tyrannosaurs? Or velociraptors? Or catching a pterodactyl i...
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Funny story:  All Our Yesterdays - "I'll Take Stalingrad. No Problem." - Hitler August 1942

All Our Yesterdays - "I'll Take Stalingrad. No Problem." - Hitler August 1942

Furious exchanges today in the Reichstag as Chancellor Hitler declared confidently that taking Stalingrad would not be a problem. Herr Hitler responded to criticism of his plan to subjugate the Russian City in pursuit of control of the vast mineral wealth of the Caucasus by saying that the assault on the beleaguered city would reap dividends, and thus aid the war effort. Plus, it would be on...
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Showing page 1 (of 11 pages)

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True Facts From Snoops #1345

When alarmed, Oprah Winfrey can swell up to five times her normal size. She was taught this by Dr. Oz.

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