Showing articles written by CaptainSausage.

Show all articles

Showing page 1 (of 4 pages)
Funny story:  The Shakin' Stevens Phenomenon

The Shakin' Stevens Phenomenon

It seems that you can't walk five paces down the street in 2014 without seeing yet another Shakin' Stevens impersonator. In pubs, clubs and even jailhouses throughout the UK, people regularly hold events to dress up as and celebrate the hip-shaking denim-wearing crooner, and to many he truly is "The King of Rock and Roll". So how did Shakin' Stevens become the wonder of the UK? Superfan Stephen...
View 'The Shakin' Stevens Phenomenon'
Funny story:  Winter Olympics roundup

Winter Olympics roundup

Hi! My name's Tad Poleman and here is my official roundup of the Winter Olympics here in Sushi, Russia. We're now halfway through the Olympic Games, and it's been so exciting I haven't even written an article about it yet. So here is a summary of what's happened so far. Who can forget Geoff Chafe winning Britain's one and only medal in the nude luge? Amazingly he beat his nearest opponent the G...
View 'Winter Olympics roundup'
Funny story:  Tarts of the Somme

Tarts of the Somme

Ever since the dull Wilfred Owen wrote his famous poem, "Prossies lose decorum if", there has been a fascination with the ladies of the night who frequented the trenches of the Western Front during World War One. They struggled with great hardship in sticky times. The Front was harsh, lonely and felt like the very bottom of the world. Most poor soldiers were therefore very pleased to have a lad...
View 'Tarts of the Somme'
Funny story:  Why Britain Hates The Winter Olympics

Why Britain Hates The Winter Olympics

On the 7th of February, President Vladimir Putin of Russia will insert a flaming 12-inch torch into a fur-lined brown ring in Sochi, causing a shower of snowy liquid to shoot over the expectant crowd and thereby bringing to a start the Winter Olympics of 2014. It is sure to be a gay old time for all involved, but how did we get here? Where did it all begin? The answer, perhaps unsurprisingly, i...
View 'Why Britain Hates The Winter Olympics'
Funny story:  The World in 2114

The World in 2114

One hundred years ago, people were rubbing their hands with excitement in anticipation of the beginning of the First World War. How times have changed! Who knows what future conflicts people might be looking forward to in a hundred more years. We asked a group of futurologists to give their predictions for what changes we can expect by 2114, even though they'll all be dead by then so they can't be...
View 'The World in 2114'
Funny story:  New Year's Eve TV Guide

New Year's Eve TV Guide

Here is a listing of Channel 6's schedule for New Year's Eve. 7.00pm. The Greatest Adverts of 2013. Stephen Telly counts down the nation's favourite 50 adverts of the year. Sponsored by Wonga. 9.00pm. Medieval Fantasy Bloodbath. The Count visits a brothel, Sir Nipple has his leg cut off by a dwarf, and Princess Stacey discovers a secret that forces her to boil her husband alive. 10.00pm.
View 'New Year's Eve TV Guide'
Funny story:  The bravest pioneer chimponaut

The bravest pioneer chimponaut

In the 1950s, a small group of brave chimps had the adventure of their lifetime. They went to that place where apes often dream of, but where none had ever gone before - outer space. Throughout the decade, it was assumed that chimpanzees would be better suited to space travel than humans, because there is a lack of launderettes away from Earth and chimps don't wear any clothes. At least not usu...
View 'The bravest pioneer chimponaut'
Funny story:  Why do the French refuse to adopt the foot?

Why do the French refuse to adopt the foot?

It is a question which has confused generations. Why do the French insist on continuing to use their strange outdated measurements such as the kilometre, the gram and the snail? It seems to be arrogance which prevents them from adopting the British Imperial System, with its far more logical conversions - 12 barleycorns to the hand, 3 hands to the foot, 3 feet to the yard, and 1760 yards to the...
View 'Why do the French refuse to adopt the foot?'
Funny story:  TV Guide

TV Guide

Tonight's television is as follows: 6pm. The Fuhrer's Toilet. Documentary about the various toilets that Hitler used throughout his life, and how they could have aided his rise to power. Features disturbing footage of an actual bowl used by the Fuhrer. 7pm. Newsblart. Up to the minute news delivered to your screen in an easily digestive form. With guest presenter David Dickinson. 7.02pm.
View 'TV Guide'
Funny story:  It's Eurovision time again!

It's Eurovision time again!

This Saturday, it's everyone's favourite annual pan-European musical competition - the Eurovision song contest. For a few hours, bleary-eyed Britons will throw away their deeply ingrained xenophobia and enthusiastically embrace their fellow Europeans as their own. Even Eurosceptic UKIP leader Nigel Farage is said to host an annual Eurovision party. He recently admitted that he has fished out hi...
View 'It's Eurovision time again!'
Funny story:  Living on £1 a day, by Sir Geoffrey Mansionhouse

Living on £1 a day, by Sir Geoffrey Mansionhouse

During the course of one of our legendary chats at my local gentleman's club, my chum Lord Percy made me a bet that I could not refuse. Namely, that I could live off £1 a day for a week. "Nonsense," I replied. "Why, one could buy 50 pints of milk at that price!" I admit that I had not researched the subject thoroughly and my milk comment was slightly off. Usually my butler and partner Jeeve...
View 'Living on £1 a day, by Sir Geoffrey Mansionhouse'
Funny story:  Benefit changes come into effect

Benefit changes come into effect

Across the UK there was outrage today among benefit fans, when long-expected changes to the benefits system came into place. "I'm outraged," said deceased political activist Spencer Perceval. "This has completely destroyed the benefits system as we know it. Don't they realise that by making small changes that I barely understand but completely disapprove of, the system will cease to exist at al...
View 'Benefit changes come into effect'
Funny story:  North Korea's Tourist Guide to Britain

North Korea's Tourist Guide to Britain

All hail to glorious leader Kim Jong-Un! May his heroic leadership crush our enemies with nuclear fist! For tourist, Britain is small island country on west of Europe, known for hats, royal families and slavery. Weather is always cloudy. National dish is horse but confusingly is labelled beef. National sport is to arrest celebrities. Historically, Britain is enemy of glorious all-powerful N...
View 'North Korea's Tourist Guide to Britain'
Funny story:  Forgotten Heroes of World War II: Part 7

Forgotten Heroes of World War II: Part 7

There are many stories of bravery and heroism from the Second World War, but one group of people are often completely ignored in the complex and significant history of that period. In her new book "Bozo's War", historian Wendy Wilsfalov explores the roles that clowns played during WW2 on both sides. She argues that many operations during the conflict could not been successfully carried out with...
View 'Forgotten Heroes of World War II: Part 7'
Funny story:  Pope on a rope

Pope on a rope

The new pope, Francis I, will have a full inbox as he settles into an unfamiliar position for him. That should however be no problem for a man who has worked his way up from the bottom as a choirboy, and can now command anyone in the whole Catholic Church to kneel before him. There was some disappointment that a more radical choice was not made for the most powerful man in the ancient Bible-bas...
View 'Pope on a rope'
Funny story:  The Somewhat Violent Adventures of Sherlock Hunt: The Case of the Missing Diamond

The Somewhat Violent Adventures of Sherlock Hunt: The Case of the Missing Diamond

I awoke in unfamiliar surroundings with a terrible headache. Next to me lay the body of Sherlock Hunt, chained to my left ankle. On my other side, my right hand was chained to a bathtub. My memory began to return. We had been on the trail of a diamond thief. A huge jewel, recently uncovered in Egypt, had been on display at the British Museum under high security. The Giza Diamond was a 300 carat...
View 'The Somewhat Violent Adventures of Sherlock Hunt: The Case of the Missing Diamond'
Funny story:  Award winning bad author returns

Award winning bad author returns

Following on from her highly successful award-winning novel which won the 2012 Bad Sex Awards, Lobelia Flaps has written a new book, out in shops now. It is a historical romance novel set in rural England in the 1600s with lashings of racy lesbianism. Called "Love's Bleeding Gums" it is about a female dentist called Aeneid Love who is looking for a husband, but suspects she may be attracted to...
View 'Award winning bad author returns'
Funny story:  Big trouble in little China : the lipoinjectors

Big trouble in little China : the lipoinjectors

Chinese businesses have long been influenced by the now-declining economies of the West, and often wish to mimic them in any possible way. The Chinese economy may be built on cheap labour, but its companies want to be associated with supposed Western affluence. This has always been obvious in certain ways - for example, the suits that Chinese businessmen wear and the fine food and drink they en...
View 'Big trouble in little China : the lipoinjectors'
Funny story:  British Innovation On Show

British Innovation On Show

Britain has always been a country full of ideas and inventions. It has long been an essential part of the economy, and never more so than in recent years. From the Dyson bagless suction hair dryer to the Dyson bagless sink unblocking suction device to the Dyson bagless bagpipe, Britain still has the innovative ideas which lead the world. Here we round up some of the great new ideas which are being...
View 'British Innovation On Show'
Funny story:  Flying by the seat of their pants - the heroes of the Battle of Britain

Flying by the seat of their pants - the heroes of the Battle of Britain

A new documentary on Channel 7 tonight aims to tell the real story of the Battle of Britain. Now that most of the combatants are dead, freshly revealed diaries and secret files can expose what actually happened in the skies during that critical battle of WW2. Corporal Harry Cross was an airman in Britain's 5th Airborne Pantyhose Division. An entry in his diary for 17th August 1940 read: "It was...
View 'Flying by the seat of their pants - the heroes of the Battle of Britain'
Funny story:  Sir Ranulph Feinnes becomes first man to reach Dorking by dogsled in winter

Sir Ranulph Feinnes becomes first man to reach Dorking by dogsled in winter

It was perhaps one of the greatest voyages imaginable which remained as yet unconquered - travelling by dogsled from London to Dorking in the very brief British winter. It was a dream of many men and had claimed more lives than can be counted. But this week Britain's greatest living explorer Sir Ranulph Feinnes finally achieved it on his twenty-fifth attempt. Upon realising that this weekend th...
View 'Sir Ranulph Feinnes becomes first man to reach Dorking by dogsled in winter'
Funny story:  The Hipster Archaeologists

The Hipster Archaeologists

Most people think of archaeology as a boring pastime only pursued by beardy wankers with a bone fetish, and they would be mostly correct. But there are a new breed of archaeologists, who are overturning the stereotype, and are pretending that it is fashionable to study old buried things. They are the "hipster archaeologists". Jon L' is one of them. He studied archaeology at the London School of...
View 'The Hipster Archaeologists'

Showing page 1 (of 4 pages)

Breaking News...

President Obama OK' Trillion Dollar Bills

Will print only 20 but we will send our creditors and pay off national debt. And so I get no argument, I put Ronald Reagan's picture on it.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 2?

9 2 17 6

Go to top ^