Written by Ellie James
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Tags: Music

Monday, 19 September 2011

image for Review of New Single Envelope of Urine Image courtesy of The Doormats, a much better band than Electric Pineapple

Austin, TX - As The Spoof's foremost music reviewer, I am given countless CDs, have to interview thousands of potential, has been and a few really awesome bands, and sometimes I get free tickets to festivals, such as The Austin City Limits Music Festival where I was supposed to have a sit down interview with Chris Martin from Coldplay. However, I gave festival tickets to a highway patrolman so that he wouldn't give me a speeding ticket. So, instead of hearing really great music and watching Stevie Wonder, the only music venue I was allowed to go to with the measly $150 budget I was allotted by The Spoof was watching Electric Pineapple's CD release party.

After a five year hiatus, British heavy metal band Electric Pineapple rereleased their debut single Envelope of Urine. Electric Pineapple is fronted by Artois Gordon, formally of The Doormats. The original song only had one verse and, to put it bluntly, a very bad guitar solo that pretty much sounded like a cat in heat. Electric Pineapple's second go around is longer by far. However, just as in really bad movies or Latin masses, there really is such as thing as too long. Just in time for ACL, Electric Pineapple has released their new single that they will not be performing live at the festival itself, but did get to host a CD release party in the backroom of an art studio/storage room for comics. While The Doormats were known for their kickass guitar and intense lyrics due to the brilliance of their drummer, David Clarke, Artois Gordon has proven that The Doormats sound cannot be reproduced. His voice is shaky at best and makes you want to just use the CD as a coaster.

Below are the lyrics to the newly released Envelope of Urine:

Envelope of Urine

Magazines! In an endless Machine!
Girls in haze getting ta---aaan!
Yer in my mind all of the time.
Sliming up the saannnd!

In the envelope my mind, you make
me want to scra---aaam. Its an Envelope of Urine
where you make your sta--aand!

(Long obnoxcious Guitar Solo)

Graduated at the end of 4th grade
She never made her pla---ann!
Still in my mind all of the time!
You'll never understa---annd

In the envelope my mind, you make
me want to scra-aamm. Its an Envelope of Urine
where you make your sta--aand!

(long obnoxcious Drum Solo)

Magazines! In an endless Machine!
Girls in haze getting ta---aaan!
Yer in my mind all of the time.
Sliming up the saannnd!

In the envelope my mind, you make
me want to scra---aaam. Its an Envelope of Urine
where you make your sta--aand!

(long obnoxcious ending guitar/drum finale)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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