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Sunday, 18 September 2011

image for A True Diary of Woe - Part Eight I could watch films like Ronald Reagan's for free at the Grove!

A story of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, and poverty, starting in August 1947

Chapter Seventeen: Mummy Flees Again - the Bailiffs Call


Yes you've guessed it, dear mummy did yet another bunk.

However, the events this time, were more interesting: the night after she left, dad and I were sat by the fire, when the door was knocked upon, Dad (a rarity when I was available) answered the door himself to find two bullish men who were representing 'Brental's Hire Purchase Shop', on Carrington Street, asking to talk to a James Gerald Chambers (eight year old me?) about a hire-purchase agreement on a three piece suite that has not been paid. (We have never had a three piece suite, one would not fit in the house anyway!)

Dad tried to explain to them that J T G A P Chambers was eight years old, and started to open the door so they could see me, when one of the bullish types made the mistake of trying to push past daddy to get into the house - When the ambulances left the scene, the local bobby said: "Not to worry Harry, those two had it coming to 'um, any further trouble give me a call, any time."

The only time I recall my Dad knocking hell of anyone but me.

(Happy days when the police, could police!)


Chapter Eighteen: The Gangs


Soon I was admitted into the Arkwright St Gang!

Unfortunately, their membership was only half of what the Blackstone Street Gang was - and Blackstone Street was very close to the hovel in which I lived, thus I had to endure random attacks now and then from the 'Blackies' members.

Still, the 'Arkies' had a mean streak of venom that helped us survive as a rule - and eventually the gangs merged to form another gang called the 'Black Arks'.

Of course being a lucky person, each time dear mater ran away, I had no time for the gang - when she returned, I had to go through the initiation ceremony again! I won't say what it was... another painful memory, but at least I got over that one!

Chapter Nineteen: The Saturday Jobs


Nearby where we lived (did I say lived?) was a hardware store on Kirkwright Street, Heason's was the name.
Daddy very kindly got me a Saturday job with them, to help supplement my double paper round jobs funds.

I think I got paid 2/3d for a full nine hour day (11p). But it didn't last too long. Among my duties, was burning the weeks rubbish in the back yard, and delivering small items bought in the shop to customers on an 'errand boys bike'.

On about the fourth weekend, I set fire to the shed, then the bike ended up under a trolleybus on Arkwright Street, when I came off on the icy road, and the table lamp that was in the basket got broke.. well crushed under the trolleybus wheels actually!

I was not injured in either incident, not that anyone asked.

Mr Heason was very good about it, and let me work for another two Saturdays and kept my wages in payment for the lamp, and damage repairs to the bike before sacking me.

Daddy was not pleased, and sent me immediately to the Grove cinema, to apply for the job as gas-lamp lighter, and snuffer in the evenings and weekend. Amazingly they took me on straight away, and paid well too, about 7/6d a week, And! - I got to see the pictures, even the X-rated for free!

More to Follow

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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