Written by mikewadestr
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Tags: dating

Thursday, 15 September 2011

image for Desperate Man Meets Desperate Woman, Both Decide that they aren't Nearly that Desperate

Desperate for dates of any kind, Susan Fugly and Jerry Booger, both of Cleveland, Ohio, who met through the dating service I'll Take Anything, met for their inaugural and last date at a local restaurant called Grease Is Us.

Sitting in a booth at the back of the restaurant next to a bay window that overlooked a landfill, both parties were a bit stunned by what they saw. So stunned in fact that throughout the date both of them spent more time looking out the window rather than each other, wondering if they remembered to take the garbage out that morning.

When Susan Fugly, did look at Jerry Booger, she became very grossed out by the fact that, Jerry, kept picking his nose. As a matter of fact, she counted seven nose picks by Jerry, although she did have to admit that the seventh pick of his nose did produce the best booger.

When Jerry Booger looked at Susan Fugly, he became a bit uncomfortable at the one inch round mole that was situated in the center of her forehead which had little hairs springing out of it. Jerry became concerned the hairs were actually antennas and that Susan just may not be from this planet.

"Geez!" thought Jerry to himself. "If she would just cut off her head, she wouldn't be so bad looking".

Susan was, also, appalled that Jerry was so unkempt and dirty and oily looking. She was pretty sure Jerry did not bathe much from the fact that he kept sliding off of his chair and under the booth's table.

There really wasn't much conversation during the date, being as it was that neither of them had any interest at all.

Needless to say, the two of them really needed to go out and get themselves a life.

At the end of the awkward date, they both exchanged burps and gave out phone numbers that were disconnected.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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