Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Thursday, 1 September 2011

image for Britain's first communist bar A busy Friday night at "Working Class Public House"

In Soho, London, a new bar has opened which is based upon the communist principles laid down by Karl Marx over 100 years ago when he lived in the area. The bar is called 'Working Class Public House' and is a plain unpretentious venue whose most notable feature is its unusual way of getting served.

No money is necessary in the bar. In order to be served, all you need to do is work in the bar for a while. One hour's work is enough for any drink. As a result, there is a huge waiting list for people to work at the bar, and most evenings it sits empty.

Crispin De Beer has been working here for two months. He does a three hour shift once a week, then on Friday he comes in for a few pints with his fellow commies. Friday is the busiest day of the week, when they can have as many as six customers.

The pub is beginning to have problems with its suppliers, as it uses a similar system to its customers. Any supplier is allowed to drink a certain number of beers in the pub for every barrel they deliver. This has proved to be unpopular, and suppliers are abandoning the pub. As such, there is only enough beer to last another week before the bar will have to declare itself bankrupt.

As Crispin said, "The waiting lists, the low supplies, the overall economic failure - it's just like being in the USSR."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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