Written by Dirty Milk
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Sunday, 31 July 2011

'At the Fishbourne Day Centre people were bunched close together at the dining room table at lunchtime. So tightly packed they were that whenever someone tucked into a bowl of soup it would then spill right onto the person sitting next to him.

"You, you've ruined my trousers boy.

"I can't help it, the table is so overcrowded"

"See how you would like it if 'someone emptied soup all over you."

A fight then broke out, with two men chucking food all over each other.

"Hey you, stop it at once said Mick Dungpile, the manager.

"He started it that Messer.

"The table is overcrowded said Simon Streetmap, one of the users.

"Oh, Poppycock, you're making it up said the manager.

Get back on that table at once before I do my nut.

'The overcrowded dining room wasn't the only trouble at this centre for there was on other thing - the dinner money.

The price for a meal was £50. It shows what a scum the manager was. 'But worse was to come for centre charge fees were to be introduced.

It would cost £45 per day just to attend.

'The dining room table was meant to take only 12 people but 25 were bunched so close to each other on the table.

'If you had to go to the toilet you were likely to knock the other person over because it was so grossly overcrowded.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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