Written by Gail Farrelly
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Saturday, 16 July 2011

image for As U.S. Space Shuttle Program Ends, Extraterrestrials Say HOORAY Here comes trouble!

In some quarters, there's a lot of sadness and nostalgia that the U.S. Space Shuttle Program is ending.

Not so in outer space. Most of the folks there are delighted.

Extraterrestrials are sick of American attempts to colonize THEIR space. They wish they'd just go home and stay put.

One little female extraterrestrial was heard to say, "It's not bad enough that Americans think they can boss around everyone on their own planet; but for a while there, they were trying to be the intergalactic boss too. It's an outrage!" Her boyfriend, scratching his pointy little head, agreed, asking, "Don't they know the meaning of home, sweet home? Why can't they mind their own business? Y'know, take care of their own land, instead of polluting everyone else's."

The first extraterrestrial sighed and said, "Every time I saw one of those shuttles arrive, I figured there goes the neighborhood. And the first thing you know, those astronauts would be walking all over the place, OUR place, acting like they're in the Spider-Man show on Broadway. Big Whoop!" She sighed and then offered a suggestion: "Maybe we could build a huge fence -- an electrified one -- between outer space and earth, making sure the fence is adorned with some big KEEP OUT signs."

Her boyfriend nodded his head enthusiastically as he said, "Cool! As Robert Frost once wrote, Good fences make good neighbors."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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