Written by Alex99
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Friday, 8 July 2011

This woman doesn't get it.She actually replied to the silly nonsense I emailed to her and you will note that her English has dramatically improved. One can only surmise that there is a scamster hierarchy out here in cyberspace. My English has worsened as you will see from the replies to my darlinguest fan. And mimicking is always a sign of true and eternal love. I doubt that Standard Charted will reply to the rubbish I emailed to them.

Dear Nancy,

Many thanks for your lovely and romantic email.

I do have many questions. I am very worried about this money because it seems like a really silly dream and too good to be truth I really hope that you are not lying to me and are being sincere with me. I am in prison and they are many people lying to me all the time and it makes me wanna cry all the day and all in the nightie and all the life with crying to you. Do you understand what I am saying, my dear sweet Nancy?

I look at your photos in my garbage bin and wish you cayote be with me now. It would be so sweetness and so fantastic and sincere with you.And now I want to tell you something my mama wants to visit me in the prison but she is in another prison and so we cannot see eachother anything and so i want you to build a tunnel for me and build a tunnel for all the guards and be sincere with them and then we can break out together and we can live as mama and son and daughter and sincere with you all the time, it be so lovely together and presently my apple and matrix lolly girl we can saturation and then menstruation and then later can being married in the futur.

I hope you sincere with me same me sinceure with my you my brolly girl who i met in the raining of my life and want to see you everest and soonest yesterdaily and then latur we can mari and I am a biggly guy and you a biggly girl and can do piggly children as well for furture living.

I love you so much.

Alex

To which nonsense Nancy replied.
Dear Darling,
Thanks for your letter and please am very sincere and truthful to you and the bank in London will be a living witness to me over the money, so please what you have to do is to write a letter to the bank and ask them to verify the account and as well tell you the real and impossibility of transferring the money into mine account for the investment purposes, so what ever you conclusion with me.

Yours lover,
Nancy.

And being a good boyfriend I actually did write to Standard Chartered-who have not replied to me yet.


Subject: Information of the bank is dollar?

Dear Surly/Madam

I am writings to us abou the money my frend Nancy Paulson told mus to write to your abbot. I wori she sincure or not and I woru she love me or not but hat I writig to yous menstruations.

I am poorly dramer peruson adding my minus to your borkend and sincerely asked if you 6,500,000 at the bank. Do you have or not? I will not love long time if u no money and give me know so we marry together long timely futur.

Is samuel odontu a really guy? or just copy from movie start? i nearling in the prison and lonelu and wanny leaving her tio be with mama, presently she die already, and she life prison next to mine and escape next life, borkend me, they copy the sandwich and hungry too. You think? or not? later my frend, my papa who is mine baby bother coming to my brothel next to mine brothel and try to make me but i say, no because mine menstruation and information for them, and i very hurt by that, and he lighting to mine, and he poorly mine as well and then borkend me later, and then fighting in bed,and i am pregnant already and i sinsur with him. Why?

Thank you so much and i future with you

Alex

And for totally shameless marketing of my new article see Help I Am In An Alien Spacecraft!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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