If you haven't already done so please read the previous e-mail by Les Being as the one below is the daughter in laws response.
May I call you mum? You had better get used to it as I am going to marry your son, whether you like it or not.
Before you start slagging me off with regards to MY suitability as a future daughter in law; how about YOUR suitability as a future mother in law.
Thus far you are sadly lacking in that department. You are a rude, overbearing cow. For reasons that completely escape me you believe that you are somehow superior to everyone else.
I can't believe you and your son are the same species, let alone share the same genes. As far as I can see your represent the greatest challenge to Darwin's theory of evolution and survival of the fittest since Susan Boyle made it through to the finals of Britain's got talent.
You love to give advice on manners and etiquette but can you take any? For a start; when someone comes around to your house for dinner may I suggest that you actually feed them. That way people would not have to fight over the last bread roll.
As far as "sleeping in" is concerned; did it ever occur to you that your so called guests are too weak to get out of bed due to suffering the effects of malnutrition. Just because you can survive on an amount of food that would barely feed a sparrow doesn't necessarily mean everyone else can.
When I marry your son perhaps you would like to visit us for dinner. That way you could see what a real dinner looks like. Also whilst in our house you would be expected to fit in and do as we do. To this end may I suggest you start looking around for a gimp suit.
Hugz and kisses x