Written by Lady Godiva
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Wednesday, 22 June 2011

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It was a 'close call' for The Birmingham Scarlet Spoofer last night. Apparently he peeped into the wrong window.

Inhopeless, Spoof Writer extraordinaire, was studying in his room (or so he told his mam) when he heard a tap on his bedroom window. He looked up in time to see the top end of a ladder being placed against the glass of his bedroom window.

Without any hesitation, Inhopeless sprinted across to his window, as only a young lad could, and opened it outwards causing the ladder to fall. Unfortunately the Scarlet Spoofer was already half-way up the ladder and was sent crashing down into the wheelie bins in the gimmel.

On the way down he fell into Inhopeless's mam's washing and got tangled in a white sheet. The Scarlet Spoofer picked hiself up and ran down the gimmel with the sheet still wrapped around him.

As he couldn't see where he was going in his panic he ran straight into the local policeman who was patrolling the area. Thinking it was a 'youth' practicing for Hallowe'en, the policeman smacked him twice with his truncheon and sent him on his way.

The policeman had grabbed one end of the sheet and as the Scarlet Spoofer raced off in his Man. U. kit, the policeman was heard yelling after him,

"Rooney, you stupid Scouse git. It's only bloody June. Halloween's not 'til October. Anyway, what are you bloody well doing in Birmingham?"

The policeman and Inhopeless didn't know how close they had been to, perhaps, catching the infamous 'Birmingham Scarlet Spoofer.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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