Only days after CEO Steve Jobs unveiled it in his keynote speech, reports are flooding in that the Apple iCloud operating system has been hacked by some sort of spooky 'iFog' virus from Taiwan.
Towards twilight last night, a fisherman was enthralling a party of local school children with ghost stories on Morecambe Bay beach. The youths were huddled together, sharing the warmth of the new iCloud on their iPhones.
According to reports, to the menacing strains of John Carpenter music coming through the speaker, one of their iPads began glowing with a strange spectral light, as, through the cyber-ether, an eerie iFog enveloped the bay.
To the youngsters' horror, from the midst of this ghostly apparition emerged demonic dripping Taiwanese dead - victims of Apple exploitation - apparently seeking revenge.
Complicating the already tangled wrack of conscience and guilt suffered by the youngsters and their 'apps', the ghostly throng were joined by zombie Chinese cockle pickers, tragically lost in the bay since 2004.
What happened next in the British seaside resort is shrouded in mystery, shoddy journalism and the iFog. But reports coming in from the USA say that similar and even more violent manifestations are taking place in several midwest states - or 'iTornado Alley' as it is already becoming known.
East and western seaboard cities are reported to also be under threat from the eerie cyber-apparitions. Twitter from New York suggest an incoming iHurricane is headed towards the Big Apple.
While at Apple HQ in Cupertino, California, a spokesman said that Steve Jobs and his employees are currently 'in the iEye of the storm, hunkered in a bunker and desperately seeking an iPatch to fix the glitch, before the ghostly 'made in Taiwan' nemesis reach them.'
More as it downloads..."