Written by SpoofyDoofy

Print this

Thursday, 9 June 2011

image for 'A' Level in Madness  -  Are you mad enough to take this exam? Multiple choice answering machines, coming to the 'A' Level Madness exam soon...

Recently Ofqual has attacked 'unacceptable' exam paper blunders;

A 'rogue' question inserted into an AS-level maths exam, worth 11 per cent of the total mark, sat by almost 6,800 students, the exam board blundered to calculate the correct length for the shortest route along a network of tracks in a forest equal to an equation set out in the test paper...

An AS-level business studies exam, made it impossible for 41,400 students to answer a question on profits, when the company's adjoining profile information failed to show what its profits actually were...

During an AS-level biology exam, 17,000 candidates were supposed to find the correct DNA sequence from a series of different combinations shown, but the correct answer was missing...

'A' Level in Madness Question [1]

An easy one for starters, where did the 6,800 students sit in the maths exam?

'A' Level in Madness Question [2]

Why did the company make profits, instead of losses?

'A' Level in Madness Question [3]

The DNA sequence was a 'Do Not Answer', how many students sucked their thumbs during the exam?

'A' Level in Madness Question [4]

Where is Lord Lucan?

'A' Level in Madness Question [5]

How many hairs are on Wayne Rooneys head?

'A' Level in Madness Question [6]

What is the capital of London?
(a) Waterloo.
(b) Hyde Park.
(c) Chelski.
(d) Playboy Club, Mayfair.

'A' Level in Madness Question [7]

Could you give a schematic web of a theme based on 'ourselves'?

'A' Level in Madness Question [8]

What is the colour of air?
(a) Green.
(b) Red.
(c) Blue.
(d) Gold.

'A' Level in Madness Question [9]

Where in the world can I find the Universe?
(a) Dock Green.
(b) Greenland.
(c) Green Street, East London.
(d) Green grass.

'A' Level in Madness Question [10]

40 - 8 = ?
(a) 4.
(b) 40.
(c) 408.
(d) 48.

To be continued...

Duration of 'A' Level Madness Exam: Infinity.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this


Go to top ^