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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for Transcript of Police interview with Andy Dick's Alleged Victim.

The following is a transcript of the reporting of a sexual assault allegedly committed by comedian Andy Dick. Reader discretion is advised.

VICTIM: "I need to report a sexual battery."

POLICE: "OK, sir. We're here to help. What happened"

VICTIM: "I was attacked in the face by Andy's Dick."

POLICE: "Oh, I am so sorry. Right. What did he attack you with?"

VICTIM: "Andy's Dick."

POLICE: "Right, I got it. Andy Dick? What. Did. He. Hit. You. With?"

VICTIM: "Andy's Dick!"

POLICE: "Right, the comedian. What did Andy Dick hit you with?"

VICTIM: "Andy's Dick! Andy's Dick!"

POLICE: "So, it was Andy Dick's dick?"

VICTIM: "Yes! Finally, yes!

POLICE: "OK. So what did he hit you with?"

VICTIM: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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