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Monday, 23 May 2011

image for Steve McClaren ponders past and possible management positions Steve McClaren man of many accents

When you think of shredded wheat hair, years of being Alex Ferguson's brides maid and Umbrellas there's only one man fit these and more.. Steve McClaren.

Being a master of social camouflage and blending into his new environment, Steve had been pondering his next management role.

I caught up Steve over a pint and chat in the Ol' Blind Beggar pub in London's East End.

When asked about his about his success in Holland with FC Twente, he replied "Yeeeeeesh, it was schuperb to win schomething so schpecial in such a short schpace of time. When I think back, it was big newsh, but I realised I needed, what you call, a new challangesh!".

I then asked Schteve about his short lived time as manager of VfL Wolfsburg, he replied in his new found tone "It vos like a stab in ze back. I could not believe zat my time vos over so quickly. Germany to me vos amazing with everything vos like clockwork even ze oranges at half time, but as the chairman said "Ve have vays of making you Valk, Auf wiedersehen pet!"

With such a shock sacking Steve's spirits have been given a lift with the sacking of Avram Grant from West Ham.

Steve has been staying the East End of London hoping to snag the vacant hammers position.

I asked what's next for the Yorkshireman, he chirped "Well m'ol mucker I've been on the jam roll since leaving Germany and I'm Boracic Lint. I always have a tiddlewink in this battle cruiser 'oping to be given the Irons chief job. I'm gonna be in barney rubble if i dont get some bread and honey.

I left the master of accents with one last question: Would he consider getting back into international management and take the Scotland job?

he snapped "Sod off mate no-one can do a Scottish accent!!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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