Written by Lady Godiva
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Saturday, 21 May 2011

image for Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, speak out about The End Of The World Yum. Mouth watering food from Morrisons.

One of the Spoof's female writers recently met with two of her favourite people, in Morrison's Restaurant at Berwick Hills, Middlesbrough.

Over plates of fish, chips 'n' mushy peas and cups of tea, they discussed the recent 'panic' over The End Of The World prophecies.

"Well," started Takwana, "Ah do admit like, Ah was ded worried when A ferst 'erd it, you know worra mean? Then our lad sed it were just a load o' cobblers. Mind, 'e was bladdered wen 'e sed it so I phoned Anitakapita, didn' A?"

"Yeah she did 'n all. Ah was just as panicked as she were coz Ah'd already bought me lottery tickets for Sat'day night 'adn't Ah. Ah woz 'opin' eye 'adn' wasted me money like.

Our mam was at our 'ouse and she told me it were a load o' cobblers too. A knew SHE wasn't bladdered coz she'd only 'ad five Carlsberg Specials by then.

Our mam sed they'd been torkin' abou' the end of the werld for bloody yers and we were all still 'ere. So Ah thought...well..mam's never wrong.

A told Takwana, didn' Ah? A told 'er not to worry an' to start peeling the spuds for Sundy dinner coz she'd invited us over like.

It carmed y'down didn' i'?"

"Yeah," agreed Takwana, " so arve gorra feelin' we shudn' be listnin' t'those stupid prophet fellas.

These fish 'n' chips are bleeding grea' arn' thee?"

On that note we'll leave our intrepid reporter and her two BFF to enjoy their meal.

Morrison's special this week is 50% off all 'out of date' items.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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