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Friday, 20 May 2011

image for Explaining The Coolidge Effect -or- Why Arnold F--ked That Ugly Chick. If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it.

Story #1:

One afternoon, President and Mrs. Coolidge were touring a government-owned farm. the couple split up to tour different sections.

While walking past the chicken coops, Mrs. Coolidge noticed one particular rooster mating over and over and over.

"How often does that rooster mate?" she asked, ostensibly while trying to ignore her dampening bloomers.

"Many times a day, to be honest, Mrs. Coolidge.

(<<sploosh.>>)

Mrs. Coolidge chuckled and said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by."

When he was told of the happening, the President asked, "Is it the same hen every time?"

"No, sir. It is a different hen each time," came the reply.

"Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge when she asks about my response."

Story #2

A friend of mine and I went to a book store that set up shop in a flea market. In addition to carrying used books and magazines, they carried recent issues of adult magazines.

My friend reached over, picked up a Playboy, and navigated deftly to the centerfold. While holding the magazine vertically, he let it open, revealing the centerfold model.

"Do you know what's amazing about this" he asked. "Someone, somewhere is sick of her."

Called The Coolidge Effect, scientists have proven over and over that, in many mammals, both males and females exhibit continuous high sexual performance given the introduction of new receptive partners.

No sh-t.

Story #3:
The Coolidge Effect was tested on rats: A male rat would be placed into an enclosed large box with four or five hot, horny female rats. Without even buying them a drink, he would immediately begin mating with all of the female rats, repeatedly, until he was ejaculating powder. Although the females would continue nudging and licking him to continue, he stared directly at the TV playing Sports Center, ignoring them.

However, add a new hotty to the mix, and he would become alert and find the ability to mate once again with the new female.

Is there any male in the universe that DOESN'T believe in this Effect. Hell, we even fantasize in lock-step with this Effect.

I love my wife, I love my kids, but every once in a while, if I need our coital interlude to end before 'Operation Repo' starts, my wife becomes Sofia Vergara for a bit.

Similarly, if Sofia Vergara was roofied-up enough to give herself to me, I would be pretending she was Whoopi Goldberg so the festiities didn't end too soon.

So, why did Arnold cheat on his wife with a woman who looks like Justice Sonia Sotomayor? Because she had a different vagina than the one he was married to.

Why did Hugh Grant cheat with Elizabeth Hurley with Divine Brown? Because she had a different vagina than the one he was engaged to.

Why did Jude Law cheat on Sienna Miller with Ugly Sienna Miller Daisy Wright? Because she had a different vagina than the one he was engaged to.

Why did Eddie Murphy cheat on his wife Nicole with a transvestite hooker named Shalomar? Because Eddie Murphy loves c-ck, allegedly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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