Written by Brimmster
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Monday, 2 May 2011

Today Glenn Beck on his radio show told his audience that he informed Bin Laden to buy gold, get miracle seeds and stock up on flashlight bulbs.

"I know, I know I tell my listeners everyday to get ready for the government to come after you and take your freedoms, this Navy SEAL team just took the freedom of Bin Laden. I warned him that Obama does not care whose rights he violates since he is a Marxist communist."

Beck continued to demand a long form death certificate, not to mention photos, school transcripts, and video that shows Bin Laden is dead.

"I don't believe that Obama did this all by himself" Beck went on, and then said "He must have had some help from the military".

Beck went on to say that if he was president he would have sent in the Tea Party lead by Sarah Palin in order to annoy the hell out of Bin Laden until he surrendered.

Furthermore with Gold prices being as high as they are, Beck said "Maybe they should have first asked Bin Laden if he wanted to invest in gold, before shooting him".

"I mean he has to have money to invest, he has lots of family riches, we could have used that gold investment to continue to drive up fear."

The reaction out of the White House was mostly mute, except Obama said "Beck has all the wrong answers to all the wrong questions, he is one of the carnival barkers I was talking about last week".

"I will not stop until everyone knows they need gold and seeds" Beck said before breaking down and sobbing over the radio.

"Bin Laden is dead and the Navy made it happen" Said General Gillish US Army.

This is a historic day, one will will never forget!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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