Written by Ellie James
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Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Normally, I watch Castle on Monday nights. However, tonight was a rerun and nothing else was on TV so I found myself watch the Spanish channel Univision and began watching this telenovela, which is a Spanish soap opera. I am fluent in Spanish and have lived in Mexico (seriously), but I have a hard time understanding these shows because the actors talk so fast.

Here is the synopsis and review of the program:

It needs to be noted that this is the first time I've seen it, and I don't know the back-stories, but there is a party. Maybe it's a quincenera (which is a 15th birthday party for a young girl), but the girl in the fancy dress didn't look 15. So, maybe it was a different type of party. I do know that the older lady, perhaps the grandmother, was making tamales. She seemed to be really pissed off that no one was eating her tamales. The lady in the fancy blue strapless dress, which really wasn't all that fancy. It was rather slutty because it looked like she could have a wardrobe malfunction at any moment. Well, she had a thing of this guy in a red shirt. And every time he would look at her, he was clearly looking at her breasts. And when she turned around and walked away, he followed her, rubbing his own man nipples. I thought, "That doesn't happen on Castle."

The scene changed to outside where there was a couple. The girl had long brown hair and the guy short blonde hair. They were obviously the super-couple. They reminded me of Bella and Edward from Twilight. Kissing and telling each other they loved each other. The only thing missing was Jacob. But then, all of a sudden, this other guy barges in on them. And, he's hot too but with dark hair. "Ahh…this must be Jacob," I thought. Well, the Jacob guy and the Edward guy start fighting. The girl freaks out and starts trying to pull them apart. Finally, the old grandma lady comes out with the red shirt guy from earlier and they break up the fight. She's still talking about tamales. The Bella girl is very upset and looking at the Edward guy and saying, "Don't you know I only love you?"

The scene changes to a girl in a wheel chair who is having a flash back to her really hot physical therapist who is massaging her feet and then exercising with her in the swimming pool. And then, for some reason, her flashback changed to another guy. A cowboy who was helping her off a horse. Out of all the men on that show, I think the cowboy was the hottest because he reminds me of a friend of mine, but I digress.

The scene goes back to the tamale party. The old grandma lady is saying things like, "Orale....eat my tamales" and motioning to the tables of tamales. The girl in the blue dress, who is trying too hard to be like Jennifer Lopez in Maid in Manhattan, kisses the guy in the red shirt. And then, she walks away. He looks at her, mesmerized and then touches his lips with his finger as if to say, "Dude! I can't believe she kissed me!"

The scene changes again to a woman in a bar who is very drunk. She's wearing a sexy hat, kind of tilted like Lauren Bacall (I don't know how to spell her name. Sorry.) But, at the same time, it's distracting because she has one dangling hoop earring, that doesn't go with her outfit. She's crying. Most likely she loves someone who doesn't love her back. She has a flash back and it's with the Edward guy. Later, the Jacob guy walks into the bar and she starts coming on to him, but he's sullen and won't have anything to do with her because he's obviously wants the Bella chic. He even still carries around a photograph of her.

The scene changes to a priest who is crying in front of a statue of Jesus. Maybe he's thinking of intelligent design. I don't know. Perhaps he's thinking of mole, which is kind of like the Mexican version of black pudding. Although, maybe not because I would actually try mole, and not black pudding!

Later, as he's crying, the father of the woman in the wheel chair comes in and starts talking to him, and I realize that he's the REAL father of the wheel chair woman!!! What scandal! Then the scene changes and the mother of the wheel chair woman is crying because she's being confronted by her husband and he's saying, "Who is the father of your child? Tell me."

You'll have to wait until the next time I watch Amor Triunfo to find out who the real father of wheel chair girl is, and who the Bella girl really loves, and who the wheel chair girl really loves. Three love triangles on one show. (And possibly more!) This NEVER happens in American television.

There you have it, Amor Triunfo….5 stars for all these love triangles.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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