Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Sunday, 24 April 2011

image for SuBo fanatics send her a bill! Pay up!

Susan Boyle had a nasty surprise today, when red scarf wearing fanatical loonies sent her a bill for the quilt they gave her recently.

"We need reimbursing for our time and materials," grumbled a quilter. "There's the material, thread, blessing fee, wear & tear on the sewing machine, wear & tear on my bible, transportation costs, sundry undocumented costs, my time, my cat's time for keeping me company, production and printing costs for the 9000-page 'Quilt Guide', hotel fees, airfare, food, cat food, wear & tear on my keyboard after typing endless crap on the forum, the list just goes on. I'm down to my last $25 million so I need the money back!" she continued to grumble.

"I have personally put in over 150 hours of my very valuable time. I have used 1.8 million stitches and I need reimbursing using the secret 'formula for reimbursement' guidelines. I figure 10 cents per stitch should do it, and $500 per hour!" said another fanatic while on her way to the Rolls-Royce showroom.

"I didn't even want the bloody quilt! I was only being polite!" said SuBo.

"Well, we'll see her in court if she doesn't pay up! My wealthy husband lawyer is on the case! We really need that money back!" said a chief fanatic while sipping vintage champagne.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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