Hello! This is the Spoof Newz for Kidz! I'm Inhopeless's niece, Eloise, aged 9 and a half. Inhopeless says that I'm really clever for counting to a half, and he says that I can write this. Goody gumdrops! I love writing! I got sticker for writing about chocolate cake in school. Miss loved it. The 'z' makes it all cooler.
Here are the news stories that the mean, mean grown-ups won't tell you.
Moussa Kousa sez that he don't want Libya from becoming a Somalia. How stupid of him! Even I know that Somalia is far away from Libya! He also has a funny name. Sounds like a curry.
Also, some people in France are rioting against the banning of the Muslim niqab. For those of you not smart enough, uncle says that a niqab is the veil thingy. I think its cool, because it makes you look like a ninja. I think the French king doesn't like ninjas.
Also, a lot of people are getting free money from a newspaper because the newspaper read its phone calls. That's not fair! My newspaper gives away CDs. But uncle says that the newspaper gets what's coming to it, because it's owned by the evil Murdoch man. Uncle says he became powerful when he was my age. That was in, like, 2BC.
Well, my fingers are tired, and uncle Inhopeless wants to watch Scrubs. I don't see why he likes it so much. There's no nice songs in it, and there are dead people in it too.