Written by anthonyrosania
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Tags: Money

Monday, 11 April 2011

image for Dear Cashier: How Can This Bill Possibly Be Counterfeit?

Why is it when I pay for my tobacco and diapers with a $100 bill, the cashier looks at me like I just tried to pay her in wampum? "Hey, can I pay you in... beads? No? Well, I have some bricks of salt... Mmmmm, salt bricks."

This is legal tender, dummy, and excuse me of I want to carry my cash in a denomination that can't be replicated with coins!

And how could this bill possibly be counterfeit??? There's a blue 3-D security ribbon that contains images of bells, thee's 100s that move and change from one to the other as you tilt the note. The bell in the inkwell on the front of the note changes color from copper to green when the note is tilted. If you rub it with a coin it smells like apricots. Hook it up to a battery charger and you can receive Netflix on it and play some early Playstation 2 games, using Ben bald head as a controller. And if you lick it, it tastes like snozberries.

Just take my money, sweetheart, give me my change and don't be mad at me because you work here: I actually took the SATs in 11th grade, and you decided to put college off.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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