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Friday, 25 March 2011

image for Big Bad Wolf - Intervention to get him into Celebrity Animal Rehab. Dr. Phil lends a hand. Yup! That IS The Big Bad Wolf...

The Big Bad Wolf of 'The Three Little Pigs' and 'Little Red Ring Hood' fame - plus stories we don't know about yet, has had an Intervention organized by his Fairy Tale family.

The Mother of Little Red Riding Hood, Scarlet O'Hara, being a really caring individual in spite of the fact that she DID send her only daughter through the woods to deliver goodies to her own mam, coz she was too bloody lazy to take them herself, she called the offices of Dr. Phil.

Scarlet spoke to one of Dr. Phil's producers (Dr. Phil has been doing this work for over 30 years, just in case that message hasn't reached you yet).

Scarlet told the producer that she really DID believe that The Wolf needed an intervention and major therapy as he was becoming increasingly paranoid at being named 'The Big BAD Wolf'.

Apparently he cannot SEE what he has done in his life to earn this monicker. He is oblivious to his bad deeds therefore will not apologize for scaring pigs and little girls.

"Dr. Phil WILL," Scarlet announced, "make The Wolf OWN IT then acknowledge that he DOES need help to mend his ways."

The intervention was arranged to take place last Friday in The House That Jack Built, but unfortunately, Jack be Nimble got their first, jumped over a 'lit' candlestick and set the house alight, burning it to the ground.

He managed to escape with minor burns and was treated at the scene by Florence Nightingale's great-great-great-great-great grandson, Dr. Feelgood. No-one else had yet arrived at the Intervention.

People were contacted quickly by carrier pigeons, trained by Jack Duckworth himself, telling them that the venue had been switched and was now to take place at Cinderella's palace.

Most people involved in the Intervention were rather relieved as they were certain the food would be better at the palace.

The 'Big Bad' Wolf was told he was to be auditioning for a children's television show, "Wolves - You just have to love 'em' ".

His friend, Brer Rabbit, delivered the invitation and shared a taxi with him to the 'new' venue of the Intervention.

The Wolf was shocked when he arrived at the Palace but suspected nothing. He was looking forward to a rip-roaring good time, as usual.

Brer Rabbit led The Wolf into the Grand Hall, which, by then was overflowing with characters from fairy tales, villains and heroes.

Gulliver was there, Jack of beanstalk fame, Snow White and the 7 dwarves, Rumplestiltskin, Beauty and the Beast, The Three Bears and Goldilocks, this list goes on and on and on.

The Wolf suspected nothing until Dr. Phil entered.

"Oh NO!" he howled, "NOT YOUUUUUUU YOUUUUU YOUUUU I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your show down."

The Wolf then ran towards a female producer, grabbed her around her waist and shoved her into a nearby closet shouting to Dr. Phil,

"What a bald head you've got. What a stupid moustache you've got. What a sickeningly sweet, sugary, butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth wife you've got. I HATE you. I hate you all.

I AM THE NORMAL ONE HERE. PISS OFF!"

Those were his parting words as he ran from the palace and headed, once again, Into The Woods.

That's a whole other story.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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