With inflation now reaching 4.4% and much higher for people whose food budget is the main priority, there has to be another letter from the Governor of the Bank of England to the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
We have been leaked the content of this letter and feel is our duty to make it known:
Dear oh dear. What can I say? At first I loved you. You were everything I was looking for. But now, after the honeymoon, we have to face a few facts.
You're no bloody good. I long for Vince. He is so much more attractive. You shouldn't be jealous. We have had a lovely time together but now I need another.
I tried to have a word with David about this but he was fox hunting. With all the cries for blood and the tally-hoos I couldn't get hold of him. So I have had to break this to you myself.
It is over George. We must part while we are still friends.
Your still affectionate
Your esteemed Banker Manager
George is trying to survive this blow so he can get ready for his Budget. But he is having trouble with his maths. He doesn't remember how to divide 4.4 by the national debt and the fiscal fiction.