Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 22 March 2011

image for Bristol Palin Responds To The Vicious Lesbian Rumors Allegedly Started By Kathy "The Red Cougar" Griffin Jodie Foster (R) and three actresses shown filming the movie "Charlie's Lesbian Angels."

MARICOPA, Arizona - Bristol Palin was sunbathing out on her backyard deck, where she has claimed that when it isn't dusty as the Dickens she can see Mexico.

She received a call from The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and was asked to comment on the recent lesbian rumors which apparently first started in West Hollywood.

Bristol put down her glass of imported Moose Juice and asked what friggin lesbian rumors she was referring to. The 5T reporter identified as LaTuna LaTundra replied that she was talking about the lesbians rumors linking her with the star of the new The Beaver movie, Jodie Foster.

Young Palin exploded and rattled off a line of expletives that her mama, "Shotgun" Sarah Palin would have been proud as hell of.

Bristy, as Cindy McCain nicknamed her, disclosed that she has never even met Jodie Foster much less done any 'rack rubbing' with her.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The term 'rack rubbing' first originated in San Francisco back in 1977, and it literally means the act of one female rubbing her tata's against the willing tata's of another female.]

Bristol said that she is really getting sick and tired of the Democrats and the Independents constantly trying to make her look bad.

She stated that they say and write in their blogs that the only reason she was named the third best dancer in America on last years Dancing With The Stars show is because her mother aka, "The Mama Grizzly" had told all of the members of her Tea Bag Party to call in and vote for Bristy as many times as they possibly could.

Bristol made it known to LaTuna LaTundra that she does not appreciate a lot of people saying that she has her mother's geographical hips, which are starting to spread "Southward" at an alarming rate of speed.

Young Palin has said that she is going to tell her dad to talk to her ex-future husband and the father of her baby Levi Johnston's and ask him to tell his ex-red cougar bitch Kathy Griffin that she better stop putting out those effen lesbian rumors before she gets in her pick up truck and drives out to West Hollywood, finds her, and kicks her in her ass so hard that the doctor who delivered her will feel it.

In news from the world of soccer. The national team form Dutch West Wakaboonka has just defeated the national team from Loombezi by the largest lopsided score in African soccer history, 13-1.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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