Written by dutch
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Thursday, 17 March 2011

Fern Cotton is currently on the Chris Moyles marathon Comic Relief vigil. She looks really glamorous with her golden tresses. Chris Moyles is starting to look a bit ragged around the edges after broadcasting live for the previous twenty eight hours. Poor Chirs looks like he could do with a wash and brush up. He is sorely in need of a shave and a change of clothes. Fern Cotton is said to have commented that it is hell in that studio smelling Chis Moyles hairy arm-pits. It's all for charity love - come on ring in and donate a pound, it's as simple as that.

The lovies are all gathering to take place in BBC Radio 1's longest show every with Chris Moyles and "Zero" Comedy Dave. Charlie Sheen phoned in to say "hello Chris Moyles and 'zero' comedy Dave. Celebrities such as Davina McCall and members of Take That, Paul O'Grady, Ricky Gervais and Paul O'Grady.

Fern Cotton has been reading the Facebook messages and is preening herself to meet Olly Murs. She is looking forward to going to the green room later to have a little canter with Take That.

It is rumoured that a posh bash is being prepared by Ant and Take and James Corden. They will be blinis and canapes and a chocolate fountain and it will all be paid for by us mugs who are donating a pound to this charity marathon.

Poor Chris Moyles has been desperate for a toilet break and has been dying to open his bowels for the last ten hours. It must smell like hell in that stuffy little studio.

Uncle Simon is coming in later to entertain the kiddies and is bringing in his coterie of beauties to show off to James Corden. Jordan has done her bit by doing a brilliant Freddie Mercury impersonation where she sported body hair. Of course she was doing a little plug for her new book but that is why most of the celebs are there to do their bit for charity. Fern Cotton looks beautiful to Chris's Moyles hairy beast and Moyles is taking a shower during News Beat and is having a twenty minute break. He wants to store time up in case he feels tired later; he is like a squirrel storing up nuts.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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