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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

image for Could feminism molest Britain's swans? A Swan after feminist abuse. Look! It's turned into an Emu!

Here at the Mail, we ask the questions that nobody wants answered. Today we look at a problem that some scientists say, may or may not exist - Could Feminism be molesting Britain's Swans?

Feminists - When they are not busy bringing about the destruction of the family unit or turning the male population into eunuchs, they are now turning their malicious harridan claws on Britain's much cherished ornithological heritage - The White Swan. These noble creatures, representative of everything that makes one proud to be British, are under attack from the boiler suited menace. Does this disturb you? We think it should. Here at the Mail we believe that we must do everything in our power to protect Britain's native wildlife - unless it's foxes of course. Nasty, filthy, vermin who need to be wiped off the face of the Earth.

It may only be pure conjecture, but the Mail believes that some of Britain's most reviled Feminists are responsible for widespread Swan abuse. From Emily Panchurst to Germaine Greer, your average feminist will stop at nothing to satisfy their ribald lust, and Swans are their target of choice.

Swan abuse may, or may not, have been rife in feminist circles for well over a hundred years. Like we say, we have no actually evidence for this, but their is no smoke without fire, so best to er on the side of caution.

We need to stop this now. Join the Mail's Stop Swan Abuse SSA campaign and do your bit to protect them from the Feminist menace.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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