Written by IainB
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Monday, 7 March 2011

image for Who is in charge of Belgium? Leaderless but still working

It is coming up to the anniversary of the day that Belgium's political deadlock started. Nobody has yet noticed.

Although not widely known by the rest of the world, in June 2010 due to a deadlock between the elected officials, nobody won the election. In the UK this resulted in the ConDem partnership, in Belgium they decided they could get on perfectly well without anybody in charge.

This appears to have been the case.

For nearly a year everything in Belgium has carried on in much the same fashion as when somebody was in charge. Indeed, some Belgians haven't noticed.

"I hadn't given it any thought," said one fluent English speaking Belgian who makes coffee for a living. "It makes you wonder why nobody has invaded us."

There is a simple answer to that - nobody wants Belgium.

"I guess that's understandable," said a man sweeping the streets who spoke better English than most of Coventry. "We are considered quite dull to the outside world. After all, the most famous Belgian is Hercule Poirot and he is fictional."

Other countries are looking at the Belgian model to not only see if it is working, but to see why it is working.

"Who's making the decisions?" asked David Cameron. "Who are the sending to the UN? Who greets foreign dignitaries?"

Unfortunately, there was nobody to speak for Belgium to answer these questions. It would seem that the country is operating on Last Orders. This is bringing money into the treasury, and this is then being paid out by the civil service, who are the same regardless of the government. So streets are swept, chocolate is made and sprouts are grown in Brussels.

"I don't think we'll be trying it in the UK," said Cameron. "I like my job."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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