Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 2 March 2011

image for Football Coverage - EIF News & Features Apologises To Sports Fans What yiu want me to do?

Efforts by Skoob Sports and Colonel Juan to cover the vital Chelsea vs Manchester United match on Tuesday evening were praised by rival organisation Ellis Ian Fields News & Features.

Said a spokesman for EIF: "What can we say, except we're sorry to EIF followers hoping to enjoy our superior coverage of this match?

"Skoob News made it perfectly clear earlier today that they were determined to experiment with live coverage of the game. They did a fairly good job.

"And we've met Juanita Juan - she's a smashing lass, really - but we don't understand how she can be in Hollywood one moment and at Stamford Bridge the next. Whatever - it was all right. Kinda.

"But I have to justify our own coverage decisions. Alice Roberts was presenting a new documentary this evening and a sizeable section of our readership is more interested in her than Wayne Rooney - though I would point out that we had an exclusive about Chelsea's preparations to meet the Red Devils' new tactics, revealed at the weekend.

"We also had a backlog of Sky-plussed stuff to watch, like Boardwalk Empire and The Sopranos.

"Mrs Fields lives here too, you know."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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