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Sunday, 27 February 2011

image for Rooney Elbow Incident - Trial By BBC? That's Him Officer!

If the pundits on BBC television's Match Of The Day are to be believed, Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has already (or shortly will be) tried and convicted by the FA for an elbow incident, early on in Saturday's Premier League clash at Wigan Athletic.

In a reasonably entertaining game - which United won by a comfortable four goal margin with a brace from Chicharito, a strike by Rooney, and a killer from Fabio - the main talking point among the BBC MOTD pundits was the Rooney incident.

The concensus appeared to be: "Oh! He'll be in big trouble for that one when the FA roll the tapes!"

Strange then that referee Mark Clattenburg only awarded a free kick.

The BBC pundits replayed the incident, seemingly delighted that in their opinion, Clattenburg can't have seen it, which according to FA rules means that the FA can view the footage and hand down a decision based upon that review.

But one expert we spoke to, ran us through it frame by frame, giving us his explanation:

"Rooney is breaking forward from midfield, heading into space in anticipation of a through ball. As he approaches maximum velocity, the Wigan player, James McCarthy, clearly steps into Rooney's path, with the sole intention of impeding his progress. Remember, that Rooney is moving at a full sprint, and is focused solely on gaining possession of the ball. If you study the footage, you can clearly see that Rooney is aware of McCarthy, that he slightly deviates in his direction, and that his arm - and ergo his elbow - were obviously used in a manner designed to brush the Wigan player out of his way. Not a single BBC pundit bothered to mention that McCarthy appeared to be more intent on causing a collision than avoiding one. In my opinion, Rooney has no charge to face, and I'm not a big fan, but right is right. That is, unless you're a BBC pundit who flogs crisps on the side."

Wigan are fucking crap anyway, and the BBC pundits are all embittered ex-scousers, or scouse arse lickers. What next? Sophisticated Evertonians complaining to the police that Gary Neville said a swearword on the pitch and offended their kids? Heaven forbid.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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