Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Sunday, 20 February 2011

image for Sarah Brown - PM's Hit Woman

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown had a neat and tidy way of dealing with difficult people - his missus would "take care of it."

The Sunday papers are full of revelations from Sarah Brown's diaries of her days at 10 Downing Street, to be serialised in the Daily Mail this week.

The Sunday Times, for example, trumpets: "Stiletto Sarah Takes Revenge For Gordon." But, as usual, the report doesn't back the headline. How does she stick the knife in? Apparently she refused to shake the hands of a top civil servant when she and her husband finally left No 10 after the election last year.

As usual EIF News & Features can reveal what the Press fails to - or dares not - investigate.

A Brown government insider told us: "Poor old Sunday Times - they don't know how close they were.

"Look, Sarah - SB we called her - was a dab hand with a stiletto, or even a dinner knife if she didn't have here "tools" to hand.

"It only took a simple signal from Gordon and, bingo, a difficult junior minister, civil servant or foreign dignitary was removed.

"Gordon would grab someone affectionately by the face and give them a big smacker of a kiss - full on the lips. Seconds later, Sarah grabs them from behind, hand over the mouth, and slips the stiletto - or dinner knife, whatever - into 'em.

"Some other big lads would remove the body and - Bob's your uncle - problem solved!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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