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Saturday, 19 February 2011

image for Local Man Looks Forward to Waiting Now Waiting is Over Oh dear, such a boring tie.............

Local Man, and one-time entrepreneur, Seaton Carew today announced he was looking forward to waiting for his new business venture to explode into the public eye now that his seven month wait for his charity work is coming to an end.

The charity work, which involved playing dominoes and bingo with old people, finishes on Wednesday and whilst it was sometime rewarding Carew, 41, was not immune to his share of drama.

"There was one time," the ex-thespian told us, "when this old woman came up to me a kissed my head and rubbed my back. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was about four feet tall, not a midget or anything, just really short, and it looked like she hadn't brushed her teeth for around six months. Also, she had that unique aroma that only old folk seem to manage to aquire. A mix of deep heat and piss. It's not that appealing, to be honest. And she couldn't talk properly, maybe something to do with all that rotting food stuck in her gnashers."

Thankfully, for Seaton Carew anyway, the charity work is coming to a close as he re-starts his career after setting up a Management company specifically designed to make as much money as possible for as little work permissible.

Who knows if the new, exciting venture will succeed?

Updates may be few and far between, but I'm sure Mr Carew's trials and tribulations may well be documented somewhere on t'interweb.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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