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Sunday, 13 February 2011

image for Shock Research Results Published

A National Literary Trust survey of 17,000 children in the U.K. has revealed that kids who use their local library are likely to be above average readers.

Even more surprising was the news that children with a sub standard reading ability for their age were twice as likely not to go to a library.

In the wake of this controversial conclusion, the Centre For Stating The Bleeding Obvious has commissioned a number of other surveys and has come up with an equally stunning set of results:

- People who regularly walk to work need their shoes heeled and soled one and a half times more than colleagues who drive or use public transport.

- If you smear green paint over yourself and parade through the city centre at lunchtime, more folk will look at you than if you didn't.

- Los Angeles is generally warmer than Moscow.

- Holding an umbrella in front of your face is more dangerous to other pedestrians than having it above your head.

- Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland.

- If you eat 5 packets of Jaffa cakes in less than 2 minutes, you'll probably end up with a sore stomach.

- You'll never get dinner prepared in time if you don't switch on the oven.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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