Written by anthonyrosania
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Sunday, 10 April 2011

image for Dear Fantasie's, Keyport, NJ:

Dear Fantasie's, Keyport, NJ:

I write to you about the sign in front of your building. It is, in a word, disgusting.

As the only strip club in the Borough of Keyport, I assume you have been cleared by the Borough's buildings department, so you must not be breaking any law, per-se, but that hideous, revolting sign, which looms high above your presence on Route 36, the busiest street in our Borough, means that I, my wife, and my three young daughters must be affronted every day by the hideousness of your sign.

The word fantasy is pluralized by adding -ie', making it fantasies. "I have fantasies about destroying your sign."

To show possession, fantasy would become fantasy's. "My fantasy's fantasy is to destroy your sign."

To show both plurality and possession, the word becomes fantasies'. "Both of my fantasies' fantasy is to see your sign felled by a lightning strike."

Your sign, "FANTASIE'S" indicated neither possession nor plurality. In fact, it is a spelling and grammatical error rolled into one.

Please fix this. Seriously, I want to chuck rocks at that f--king sign every time I see it. Keep serving alcohol and hosting naked boobies, however. We all love alcohol and naked boobies.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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