Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 8 February 2011

DALLAS - The Green Bay Packers defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25. Christina Aguilera flubbed the words to the Stars Spangled Banner and Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas performed at halftime yelling, hollering, and screaming so loud that the Dallas Police Department actually issued them a citation for 'disturbing the peace.'

TEN LITTLE KNOW FACTS ABOUT SUPER BOWL XLV (45)

  1. The Super Bowl game play-by-play announcers were Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. Buck said the phrase, "I'm Joe, that's Troy" a total of 16 times during the entire Super Bowl game telecast
  2. The four F-15 fighter jets that flew by during the National Anthem were to have actually flown into Cowboy Stadium and out again but could not since stadium owner Jerry Jones ordered the roof closed.
  3. Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger actually left the stadium grounds during halftime and returned to his hotel room to retrieve his lucky rabbit's foot.
  4. Christina Aguilera was overheard telling Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas that she had forgotten to wear underwear but luckily Laura Bush (George's wife) had an extra pair with her and she let her borrow them.
  5. An Al Qaeda operative identified only as "Randy 3,000" was tackled behind the Green Bay Packers players bench and two Packers defensive linemen beat him silly with the tops of two Gatorade containers.
  6. Former President George Bush kept asking "Okay, y'all now where da hell are my Dallas Cowboys?"
  7. Steelers offensive lineman Flozell Adams, who weighs 338, ate a total of nine (9) cheeseburgers during the game.
  8. Fox Sports Announcer Troy Aikman, who is not at all fond of the Green Bay Packers, confided to his partner Joe Buck that he was wearing a pair of official Pittsburgh Steelers boxer shorts.
  9. United States Speaker of The House John Boehner cried after every touchdown.
  10. The Cowboy Stadium heating system stopped working halfway into the fourth quarter and the temperature dropped from 72 F. to 32 F. in less than four minutes. This was clearly evident by anyone who saw the halter top fronts of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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